Of Dreams And Magic
by Mayumi-san
Summary: Colorful rides. Zany buildings. Wacky characters. What started out as an easy job in Tokyo's most popular amusement park is turning out to be much more than what our retrievers had ever expected. This is turning out to be a cracky GB version of 'Alice in Wonderland'... Chapter 13 UP!
1. Downtown Toontown

Disclaimer: Tokyo Disneyland and Disney characters are properties of Disney Enterprises, Inc. The Get Backers are the property of Aoki Yuya and Ayamine Rando.

A/N: Just so you know, this fic is 2 percent plot and 98 percent silliness. Don't say I didn't warn you.

* * *

**I. Downtown Toontown**

It was a hot summer day in Tokyo. The sun was not yet at its highest point in the sky, but its strength could already be felt blazing down on one of the most popular amusement parks in Japan known as Tokyo Disneyland.

The enormous theme park had just opened for the day. The local and foreign tourists who were lucky enough to be among the first to get into the park had already started to delight themselves with the many attractions that the _Kingdom of Dreams and Magic_ had to offer.

It was in one of the seven themed lands in this American wonderland, at a place called Toontown, that the character known as the symbol for the whole Disney empire roamed about.

"Mommy! I want a picture with Mickey!" A six-year-old kid wailed to his mother as soon as he spotted Toontown's most famous resident. The kid ran as fast as he could in the direction of character whose image was stamped on everything considered to be Disney.

"Okay, Takai! Settle down and wait for mommy!" The mother called out after her springy son as she tried to keep up with his energy.

Takai paid no heed to his mother as he stopped right in front of the world's most famous mouse and looked up. The tuxedo-attired Mickey Mouse noticed the kid and looked down at him, his smiling face seemingly saying hi.

"Takai!" His mother said as she gasped for breath. She took his hand and scolded him gently. "Don't ever run off like that again or you might get lost." Then she looked at Mickey and gave him a smile. "Excuse me, Mickey-san. Can I take your picture with my son?"

Mickey looked at her and gave her a little nod, the warm smile on his face telling her that he doesn't mind.

"Thank you," she said.

She stepped back and aimed her camera, while the kid turned around to face his mother. As Mickey placed his two enormous white-gloved ands on the boy's shoulders, a similar scene was playing a few feet away from them. Smiling against the oddly-shaped backdrop that was the _Gag Factory_ (1), was Mickey's girlfriend Minnie Mouse, her red and white polka-dotted dress swaying gently in the hot wind as a group of Caucasians posed with her for a picture.

"Smile!" Takai's mother said.

Little Takai gave a wide two-front-teeth-less grin as the camera clicked. Then he turned around and looked up at the famous mouse.

"C'mon, Takai," his mother called out.

Takai ignored her and continued to gaze up, seemingly fascinated by Mickey's huge nose. Mickey, in turn, looked down on him. Without warning, he suddenly grabbed Mickey's nose, then heaved himself up, intending to dangle his small body from Mickey's face, using the mouse's olfactory organ as a makeshift ledge.

"Owwww!" Mickey, or rather, the man inside Mickey, yelped as his enormous headdress pushed against the back of his head, causing immense pain on his neck.

"Takai!" The mother gasped. She quickly ran over and was able to extract her son from the mouse's still smiling face, but not without a small struggle.

"I am very sorry about that Mickey-san," she gushed over, smiling apologetically.

Mickey could do nothing else but smile.

As soon as the two tourists were gone, Minnie sauntered over in her yellow high heels towards Mickey.

"Dammit!"Mickey, or rather, the man inside Mickey, cursed out loud. The back of his neck still hurt, and he could feel sweat dripping down the sides of his forehead. "Ginji," he said, turning to the red-and-white-polka-dotted-clad mouse standing beside him. "Explain to me again why we're walking around in this under-ventilated coveralls in the peak of summer looking like giant rats."

"Because some Mickey Mouse items have disappeared the past few days and we're hired to get them back," Minnie, or rather, the man inside Minnie, answered.

"That still doesn't explain why we're dressed as oversized rodents."

"We're luring the thief out, Ban-chan."

"Why can't we just leave a Mickey Mouse statue or something out there and see if the thief takes it instead of wearing these stupid costumes?"

Amano Ginji, the man inside Minnie Mouse, shrugged. "Don't you think this is more fun?"

Mido Ban, the man inside Mickey Mouse, turned his head to his partner. Unfortunately, the Mickey Mouse mascot head could not reflect the glare that he was currently giving out.

"Does it look like I'm having fun?" Ban asked through gritted teeth.

Ginji looked back at Ban, or rather, at Mickey's warm smiling face. "Uhh, yes, actually," he replied.

The sight of Mickey bonking Minnie on the head made the people surrounding them stop in their tracks and stare at Toontown's most famous resident and his now-turned-chibi partner.

"That's so cute!" A Japanese teenager squealed as she caught sight of the chibi Minnie Mouse. "I didn't know they had a mini-Minnie mouse!"

Ban rolled his eyes as the teenager and her two friends came up to them. "The reason why we took this job escapes me right now."

"Because they're paying us 300,000 yen?" Ginji offered.

Ban sighed. "Oh, right."

"Mickey!" The teenager said as she stood in front of Ban. "Why don't you hold Minnie while we take your picture? Pleeeaase!"

_300,000 yen. 300,000 yen. 300,000 yen_. The words repeated themselves in Ban's mind as he held chibi Ginji up and turned towards the camera.

* * *

(1) The _Gag Factory_ is one of the stores in Toontown where you can buy Disneyland souvenirs.


	2. Not So Hidden Mickey

Disclaimer: This message goes out to Disney Enterprises, Inc., and to Aoki Yuya and Ayamine Rando: I'm not worth suing.

A/N: I did a little editing on Chapter One since some people found a certain word distracting :D

* * *

**II. Not-So-Hidden Mickey**

Mido Ban closed his eyes and concentrated his efforts on not fainting. It had only been an hour since he and Ginji came out dressed as Mickey and Minnie Mouse, but the intense heat from the sun, coupled with the lack of ventilation that the suit offered were quickly draining him of the liquids in his body as he felt buckets of sweat dripping down from the top of his head all the way to the soles of his feet. And if that wasn't bad enough, a not-so-pleasant scent had started to trail up his highly-sensitive nostrils. He forced himself not to think about how many people had worn the Mickey Mouse suit before him.

Amano Ginji, on the other hand, seemed to be having the time of his life, and it was evident as he pranced around in the Minnie Mouse suit, posing with some tourists, waving to the kids passing by, and shaking hands with just about everyone who went near him. Those people in turn, reflected his happiness in their smiles as bright as a pristine lake reflecting the sunshine that was Ginji's aura.

After the current wave of Disneyland patrons had receded, Ginji turned to his partner and said, "Ban-chan?"

Ban, who was too grouchy to open his mouth, said, "Hmmm?"

"I have to go to the bathroom."

"What?" Ban asked with annoyance as he turned his head to his partner. "Why didn't you go before you wore that..." The face of a perky female mouse wearing a red and white polka-dotted ribbon smiled back at him. "...thing?"

"I didn't feel like going until now." Ban could feel Ginji's sheepish grin as he answered. "I _really_ have to go, Ban-chan."

"Fine, fine. Just go," he sighed.

As Ginji turned and started to walk away, he added, "And hurry up."

Minnie's head bobbed up and down as his partner nodded in acknowledgment.

Ban watched Minnie's retreating form and sighed again. At least when Ginji was around, the people got so smitten by Minnie's charm that they didn't seem to notice that all Mickey did was stand there and grin. And it wasn't like he had any choice about the grinning part. But now that Ban was alone, he was going to have to be more hospitable if he wanted to make this disguise work.

As a new wave of Toontown guests swarmed over him to take his picture, he let his mind wander about the Get Backers' current case. So far, all they knew was that various Mickey and Minnie Mouse items have disappeared, all of them in the morning. So their suspect would be somebody who regularly came to Toontown during those hours. If it was just a customer, then that person must have the money to be able to come to Disneyland all the time. Now if he had that kind of money, why would he feel the need to steal all those items? That didn't make sense, unless if that person was a kleptomaniac who was obsessed with Mickey Mouse.

The thief was most likely an employee, he concluded. Yes, a part-time employee whose working hours were in the morning seemed to make more sense.

A young woman holding a kid that looked about a year old stopped in front of Ban and pointed at him, breaking him out of his musings. "Look, Hisako," she said to the kid. "It's Mickey Mouse."

Why anyone would bring a one-year-old kid to Disneyland was something Ban couldn't comprehend. _The kid wouldn't remember any of this, so why waste your time and your money?_, he reasoned in his mind._ If you wanted to get rid of your money, you could've just given it to me. I could think of a million uses for it right now._

As the kid stared at him with big brown horror-filled eyes, his opinion on the matter intensified.

"Hey, Mickey," the woman said. "Can I please take a picture of you holding her?"

_I don't think that's a good idea_, he thought as the kid continued to stare at him.

Before he could do anything, the woman had shoved the kid into his arms and had started walking a few feet away to aim her camera. The kid looked at her retreating form, then turned to look at the monster-like being holding her, then back at her mother.

_Uh-oh_, Ban thought as the kid's lips began to quiver.

"WAAAAAAAHHHH!" The kid cried out and began to reach out her chubby little arms towards the direction of her mother.

There was another thing that Ban hated about the Mickey suit. Sound waves of a certain frequency that travel through the dark screen that was the material for Mickey's eyes were amplified as they bounced around inside the mascot head, giving them an echo effect. And that was exactly what was happening to the shrill wail that was coming from the toddler's mouth as she cried out for her mother.

"MAAMMAAAAAAAA!"

"Look, kid," he muttered under his breath. "I am as unhappy as you are about this, and your screaming's only making it worse."

Ban didn't think it was possible, but somehow the kid amazed him in her ability to scream louder.

"Mommy's right here, honey," her mother said as she aimed her camera.

Ban looked at her incredulously as the camera clicked. Her kid was crying her lungs out, and she still wanted to take a picture. He had to keep himself from shaking his head as he sighed. He wondered how much longer he had to endure this torment.

* * *

Atropos' Knife: You made me review my anatomy notes again, and that word CAN really pertain to the vertebrae of the neck. But I realize now that that wasn't the first thing that comes to people's minds. LOL So I edited the first chapter just for you and Zining :-) When I started writing the first chapter, I didn't know where this would be going. Actually, I still don't hehehe :D Anyway, this was supposed to be a very short fic (I initially thought of at most two chapters), but since you asked for more Ban-torturing, I will gladly oblige. I seem to be good with that evil snicker.

Rabid Lola: Good blackmail material? Well, you ain't seen nothin' yet ;)

Zining: Well, Ginji's clothes can chibify, so I just surmised that anything he wears can, including rodent costumes :P And yeah, yeah, I changed that word already :D

Azn Grill: Well, I try to write whenever I can. That's not very apparent, I know hehe. That's because things have been really hectic for me for the past months. But thanks for your review. It's very encouraging :-)


	3. Down The Toonhole We Go

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.

* * *

**III. Down The Toonhole We Go**

Usually, guests in Tokyo Disneyland would not notice that the music wafting out from the speakers scattered all around the amusement park, which gave the park the atmosphere of dreams and magic, were in a loop. However, there were a few, which some would rather say 'an unfortunate few', who did notice.

That day, the 'unfortunate few' included the retriever named Mido Ban.

For reasons that were now eluding him, he was still inside a Mickey Mouse suit, with his huge gloved hand resting on the shoulder of a teenaged tourist as he posed for what felt like the thousandth picture of the day. And just when he thought that the day couldn't get any worse... Well, it did.

That stupid song, whose excessive joviality seemed to be mocking him with its overly enthusiastic words, was once again playing in the background.

"Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay  
My, oh my, what a wonderful day"

_What a wonderful day, indeed._ Inside the Mickey suit, Mido Ban closed his eyes in exasperation.

"Plenty of sunshine headin' my way"

_If I hear that damn line one more time, I'm gonna..._

"Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay" (1)

He didn't notice that his right hand was clenched and was now inadvertently choking the hapless tourist.

"Aaarggh," the skinny teenaged guy choked out. "M-m-Mickey-san! I c-can't breathe..."

Mickey Mouse soon let go and, with a big grin on his face - which Mido Ban had no control over - patted the poor guy on the head gingerly as if to apologize.

As soon as he caught his breath, the teenager gave Mickey Mouse one last freaked-out look before scuttling over to his friends.

"Hey, look!" He said as he pointed to the giant anthropomorphic dog standing by the Roger Rabbit fountain. "It's Goofy! Let's go there instead!"

Ban sighed for the umpteenth time. _When is this torture gonna end? What's taking Ginji so long?_

* * *

Adjacent to Toontown were several staff-only areas - which in Disney lingo were called 'backstage areas'. And in order for all Disney employees to continue fulfilling their duty of providing happiness (2), there were certain rooms inside these backstage areas that were considered very crucial - the restrooms.

Some Disney employees - which in Disney lingo were called 'cast members' - that were currently on a break looked up as the door to one of these very important rooms opened. Upon seeing the new blond _arubaito_ (3) step out, a group of young female cast members reverted back to their conversation, but now in more hushed tones.

"You're right, Tsubame-chan. He _is_ cute."

"And you've talked to him already?"

"Yeah, and he's soooo nice."

Noticing the group that was sitting around the breakroom table, Amano Ginji nodded over to them in acknowledgment and gave them a smile.

The girls could hardly contain their squeals.

"Too bad he has to hide that face inside the Minnie suit. He _totally_ has the Disney smile (4)."

The blond Get Backer walked over to where he left the Minnie Mouse suit on the floor, and proceeded to step in. Just as he was about to slip his arms into Minne Mouse's puffed polka-dotted sleeves, he noticed a white blur whiz by out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head, just in time to see a white rabbit in red overalls scurrying around the corner of the long corridor. The image was fleeting, but it looked like the rabbit was holding something that was red-and-white in its yellow-gloved hand.

The rabbit disappeared before Ginji could take a second glance.

The retriever frowned. Was he seeing things?

His brown eyes dropped down to Minnie Mouse's head that was on the floor beside him, and that was when he noticed that the red and white polka-dotted ribbon that was on Minnie's head was missing. He gasped.

"What is it, Ginji-kun?" The girl named Tsubame, who had seen the change in his expression, asked.

Ginji turned his head to her. "Did any of you see that?" He asked as he pointed towards the corridor at his right.

"See what?"

"The white rabbit. In red pants."

The girls all gave him blank looks. After a long pause, one of the girls asked, "Do you mean Roger Rabbit?"

Ginji looked at her, then turned his head to look back to the corridor. "I think he has my ribbon."

The girls frowned.

"Your ribbon?" Tsubame asked, a look of puzzlement on her face.

"I mean... Minnie Mouse's ribbon," the blond Get Backer said as he pointed to Minnie's head.

The girls exchanged looks with each other. Tsubame then said, "You think Roger Rabbit has your... umm, I mean... Minnie Mouse's ribbon."

Ginji frowned again as he looked back at the corridor. He definitely saw something, which could possibly be the thief that was stealing all these Mickey Mouse items that the Get Backers were hired to find.

Well, he thought as he set his jaw. There was only one way to find out. Stepping quickly out of the Minnie suit, he said to the girls, "I'll be right back."

He ran towards the corridor, leaving the girls to stare back at him in surprise.

Soon, the girls recovered and went back to their idle chitchat.

"He seems a little cuckoo, Tsubame-chan."

"Yeah," Tsubame answered with disappointment. Her eyes then perked up. "He's still incredibly cute, though."

The girls perked up with her and nodded their heads in agreement.

* * *

Ginji dashed around the corner. Up ahead, at the farthest end of the corridor, he saw a door being shut close. Hurriedly, he ran up to the door, pushing it open as he burst into the room, which turned out to be a supply room.

The walls were lined with metal shelves that contained bins and boxes in a variety of colors and sizes. But those were not what made Ginji's jaw drop wide open.

The rabbit, who was about waist-height, which was larger than any rabbit that Ginji had ever seen before, gasped as it turned its white bunny head to the retriever, its long round-tipped ears flapping as it did so. In its hand was - there was no mistaking it this time - Minnie Mouse's ribbon.

Finally, Ginji found his voice. "Roger Rabbit?"

A scared look came over the rabbit's big blue eyes. Before Ginji could say anything else, the rabbit turned around rapidly and bolted, jumping quickly out of the open window.

"Wait!" Ginji yelled as he ran after it.

The Get Backer jumped out the window as well, and now found himself at the small alley behind the _Roger Rabbit Cartoon Spin_ (5) building. Spotting the fleeing form of the rabbit up ahead, he ran faster in an effort to catch up.

"Roger-san! Wait!"

Ginji ran past some white delivery trucks that were parked parallel to the wall. Aware that the blond was close behind, the rabbit scurried faster, turning left into another alley, which was between the _Cartoon Spin_ building and a coral-colored building that had the words _R.K. Maroon Studios_ (6) painted in big red letters on its outer wall.

At the end of the alley was the cartoonish-looking solid gate that hid the backstage area from the guests milling around Toontown. And at the right of the gate's blue-bricked column was a narrow space where the rabbit hurriedly squeezed itself through.

With a quick burst of speed, Ginji lunged himself forward and was able to grab one of the rabbit's oversized red pant leg. "Roger-san! I just want to ask you some questions!"

With a frantic look on its face, the rabbit dug into its pocket and hastily sprinkled something black in front of Ginji's face.

Ginji was well aware that his perception of reality was being challenged right now, so he wouldn't be surprised if the powder contained some sort of magical powers.

What was it, then? He wondered, worry starting to etch itself onto his face. Black pixie dust? Did the rabbit just cast a spell on him?

"Ahh... Ahh... AAAAH-CHOOOOOOOOOH!"

It was pepper.

In his sneeze, Ginji unintentionally let some sparks fly from his fingers.

"YEOOOWWWWWW!" The rabbit yelped.

Ginji let go as another big sneeze came. Upon being freed, the rabbit dashed away, leaving the Get Backer in a sneezing-slash-sizzling fit.

* * *

"Mister Bluebird's on my shoulder  
It's the truth, it's actual  
Ev'rything is satisfactual"

Ban sighed with relief. That annoying song was finally nearing its end.

"Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay  
Wonderful feeling, wonderful day!"

Just as the last beat of the song played, a bright flash of light appeared at the corner of Ban's eye - or rather, at the corner of one of the openings on Mickey Mouse's head that served as the mascot's eyes.

_Ginji_.

Ban quickly turned his head to the side, but saw nothing unusual. Around him were hordes of Toontown visitors, each busy with their own flashing cameras that bursts of light in the area did not particularly seem out of the ordinary.

Ban continued to stare at the spot where he thought the flash of light came from. He couldn't explain it, but he felt something different about that flash.

A moment passed. He didn't see anything else, so he decided to just shrug it off. It must be just another camera flash, he thought to himself.

Just when he was about to turn his head back to the tourists, he saw it again.

That was definitely Ginji.

He was about to run towards it when he remembered that in his arms was a toddler who was wearing a tiny black cap with Mickey Mouse ears. The toddler was beaming at his mother while his mother held a camera for a picture.

Ban quickly looked around. He spotted Goofy a few feet away from him, and - with the toddler still in his arms - hurriedly walked over to the giant dog.

"Mickey-san? Where are you going?" The puzzled mother asked as she frantically followed him.

As soon as Goofy, or rather, the man inside the Goofy suit, was within earshot, Ban said, "Hey, Goofy."

The giant dog turned his head to look at him.

"You take care of this," Ban said, shoving the toddler into Goofy's arms.

"Eh?" Goofy said.

Without another word, Ban hurried over to the side of the _Gag Factory_ where he saw the flashes of light. That area had a low fence and some bushes that separated Toontown from a cast-members-only pathway.

Still in his Mickey Mouse suit, Ban jumped over the fence and the bushes. It was not an easy feat, since the Mickey suit was horribly non-aerodynamic and not exactly lightweight. He would love to take the suit off at that moment, but couldn't due to the agreement that the Get Backers had with the Disney management staff.

Prior to appearing as Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Ban and Ginji actually had to take the Tokyo Disneyland orientation, which was basically the training that all would-be cast members took before appearing on Disney's 'stage'. If there was one thing that Ban remembered, it was that, according to the trainor's words, "people have dreams about Disneyland, and you cannot break these dreams."

Even though Ban was already on the cast-members-only pathway, he was still in full view of the Toontown guests. Taking off Mickey's head would be considered 'breaking people's dreams', he would think.

He snorted. Here he was, the Jagan Master, and he was concerned about breaking people's dreams.

His musings were abruptly cut short when he saw something red-and-white zip by on the pathway in front of him, jumping into the foliage that was surrounding the building marked _R.K. Maroon Studios_.

Before his brain could process what was going on, he heard a sneeze on his right side, followed by sizzling sounds. Turning his big Micky-head to the source of the sound, he saw a cartoonish-looking gate at the end of the pathway. The gate was flanked with columns of blue bricks on each side, and on one side of the column was a narrow space where his partner suddenly emerged.

"Ginji!" Ban exclaimed.

"Ban-chan!" Ginji responded as he ran towards the man in the Mickey Mouse suit. "We have to go after him! He has Minnie's ribbon!"

Ban frowned. "Who?"

"Roger Rabbit!" Ginji answered as he jumped into the foliage where the rabbit disappeared into.

Still as puzzled as ever, Ban jumped in after his partner. Now that he was hidden by the bushes, Ban quickly took off the Mickey Mouse head and dropped it to the ground. Finally getting the huge weight off, he exhaled loudly then took a deep breath of sweet fresh air.

The sweetness was short-lived, however. Zigzagging around the trees was Ginji, who was chasing that red-and-white whatever-it-was. Not having enough time to get out of the suit, Ban took off after him - Mickey Mouse body and all.

The retrievers dashed around a smaller L-shaped building which was hidden among the trees. At the outer corner of the 'L' was a hidden clearing, which turned out to be right behind the giant storybook that marked the beginning of _Pooh's Hunny Hunt_.

_What on earth...?_ Ban gasped in astonishment as his eyes locked onto the biggest rabbit that Ban had ever seen.

The rabbit took one last look at them before it suddenly jumped into a hole in the ground. Ban and Ginji ran up to where the rabbit jumped into and was surprised to see that the hole was now covered.

The hole was a perfect circle, and covering it was a cast iron plate etched with a capital 'M' and an image of Mickey Mouse right at the center. Around the edges were the English letters that formed the word _Toonhole_.

Ban stared at the it, frowning. "Is this a manhole?"

"I'm not a manhole. I'm a toonhole!"

Ban and Ginji both gasped at the kid-like voice emanating from the manhole cover. They looked at each other in bewilderment.

After a long pause, Ban asked his partner, "Did the manhole just talk to us?"

Before Ginji could reply, the toonhole protested. "I said I'm not a manhole. I'm a toonhole!"

"Ohh-kayyy..." Ban said, unsure of what to make of this. "So the toonhole talks."

"Yes, I can talk!" (7)

Ban stared down at the toonhole, still in a little bit of a shock. Before long, an idea started to form in his mind. "Okay. Let's talk, then." He still couldn't wrap his head around the idea that he was in a conversation with a talking manhole... errr.. toonhole, but whatever. He'd wrap his head around that later. "Who was that rabbit?" He frowned again. "Was that even a rabbit?"

"You mean, Roger?" The toonhole asked.

"So that _was_ Roger Rabbit!" Ginji exclaimed.

"Yes!" The toonhole piped. "Are you his friends?"

"We certainly are," Ban replied, which made Ginji look at him in confusion. Giving his partner a look that said 'Just shut up', he asked the toonhole, "Can you take us to him?"

"Sorry, I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm a toonhole! I can talk, but I can't walk."

"Of course," the spiky-haired retriever said, as if manholes that could talk but not walk were the most natural things in the world. "So what's under you?"

"I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't know what's down there. I've never been there."

"You've never been there?" This time, it was Ginji who asked, "Why not?"

"Because I'm a toonhole!"

Ban wasn't sure if the circular conversation was due to the circular nature of the converser, but if they were to get any information about the missing items, they had to get out of this loop fast. "Can we just jump in, then?"

"I don't know." The toonhole seemed to hesitate. "I'm a toonhole! Only toons are allowed inside. Are you a toon?"

"A what?" Ban asked.

"A cartoon. Like Roger Rabbit."

Without hesitation, Ban answered, "Yes, we are!"

"Okay, then," the toonhole chirped. The cast iron cover then seemed to magically turn translucent. "Come on in."

_Wow, that was easy,_ Ban thought.

Ban and Ginji both peered down the toonhole, but all they could see was ominous darkness.

"Ban-chan," Ginji said as he gulped. "I'm not too sure about this."

Ban stared down the hole. No, it didn't look very inviting. Not by a long shot. He then turned to his partner. "You sure he had Minnie's ribbon?"

The blond nodded.

Well," Ban said with a sigh. "The rabbit did go down this hole. It should be ok." With his jaw set in determination, he straightened up and started to unzip the Mickey Mouse suit.

"I can't hold the door open for very long," the toonhole then said. "You have to jump in now."

"Okay, okay! We're going in." Ban said as he stepped out of the Mickey suit. He looked down one more time at the hole, then gave his partner a wry smile. "Here goes nothing."

And with that, he jumped in.

Ginji waited for the thump that would indicate that his partner had hit the bottom of the hole, but there was none. He frowned. "Ban-chan?"

Ban didn't respond.

"I can't hold it any longer!" The toonhole said. The cover then started to flicker back into its solid state.

"No, not yet!" Ginji yelped to the toonhole. "I'm coming, Ban-chan!"

Immediately after the blond jumped in, the cover turned solid once again.

* * *

Author's Notes:

After seven long years, I finally have the semblance of a plot. I hope you're enjoying it so far. Thanks for tuning in, or should I say... toon-ing in. Hahahahaha! Okay, that was a bad joke... Just in case you haven't noticed, the rabbit parts in this chapter were based on the first chapter of Alice in Wonderland, where Alice follows the White Rabbit down the rabbithole. Does that mean that Ban and Ginji will find themselves in Wonderland? Maybe. Or maybe not. Stay toon-ed to find out!

(1) The lyrics of _Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah_ were written by Ray Gilbert, and the song is owned by the Walt Disney Music Company. As far as I know, this song is not really played in Toontown but more in Critter Country, where Splash Mountain is. But hey, I believe the laws of the universe can be changed if it means making Ban's life more... ummm... enjoyable *evil snicker*.

(2) If you work in the "Happiest Place on Earth", then your job is to "provide happiness", according to Tokyo Disneyland University, where new employees are trained.

(3) _Arubaito_ is the Japanese term for part-time workers.

(4) The "Disney smile" is also taught in Tokyo Disneyland University.

(5) The _Roger Rabbit Cartoon Spin_ is a ride in Tokyo Disneyland, that is right at the edge of Toontown. And yes, behind it are backstage areas.

(6) In Tokyo Disneyland, the building marked _R.K. Maroon Studios_ is actually the back of the _Pooh's Hunny Hunt_ building. _Pooh's Hunny Hunt_ is another ride in Tokyo Disneyland, but it's supposed to be part of Fantasyland, not Toontown. Since this building is at the border of both towns, the front looked like part of Fantasyland, while its rear still had to blend in with Toontown. Hence, Disneyland painted the letters _R.K. Maroon Studios_ just to make it consistent with the Toontown theme. By the way, in the movie "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?", R.K. Maroon is a human character that owns the Maroon Cartoon Studios, and Roger Rabbit was one of Maroon's stars.

(7) In Toontown, manholes are called toonholes. I haven't confirmed this, but I've heard that in Tokyo Disneyland, the toonholes do talk. I'm pretty sure they won't let you jump in, though.


	4. And You Thought They Were Cute

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. I guess I should warn you that this is where it turns into crack.

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**IV. And You Thought They Were Cute**

It was totally black.

So black that Mido Ban couldn't tell whether his eyes were closed or not. Wind rushed upwards against his body, making his shirt tails flap against his arms. Nothing was pressing against his feet, so he knew that he was still in midair. He could feel nothing else, except for the adrenalin-pumping sensation of falling.

"Ginji!" He yelled out, hoping to hear his partner answer, but the only thing he could hear was the sound of the wind rushing against his ears.

He didn't know how long it had been since he jumped, but it felt like an eternity. At the speed that he was going and at the height that he was falling from, he knew that landing safely was going to be very tricky. _If_ he was to land at all.

_Now, that's a scary thought_, he said to himself wryly. Forever falling, never landing. That was actually scarier than landing hard and ending up like goo.

Just then, the sound of the rushing wind got softer, and his stomach thankfully stopped lurching as he slowed down. He felt light, almost as if he was floating on air. He looked down past his feet, and he could see small pinpoints of light of different colors rising up to meet him as he descended.

The pinpoints of light grew to the size of pingpong balls as they floated up beside the retriever. He stared, captivated, as glowing balls of blue, pink, yellow, green, orange, and various other hues surrounded him like playful bubbles bouncing lightly against his skin. It was fascinatingly surreal.

"Mmmph!" Ban grunted as something suddenly hit him hard on the knee, snapping him out of his dreamlike state.

To his surprise, the balls of light that were floating up towards him had grown bigger, like tennis balls, and - as he had just found out - had also turned solid. As Ban looked down, another glowing solid ball hit him right on the forehead.

"Owww!"

Just as his hand involuntarily went up to his head to rub the spot where the ball hit him, several more tennis-ball-sized multi-colored glowing solid balls flew up towards him, hitting him right and left and everywhere else.

Ban yelped as he turned chibi, cursing repeatedly as he tried to unsuccessfully dodge the balls that were now rushing at him in continuous waves that didn't seem to end. Now that he thought about it, falling in the dark forever didn't seem so bad after all, compared to dodging glowing balls forever.

Finally, the Attack of the Glowing Balls stopped. Ban looked down cautiously to make sure that no more swarms of balls were flying at him. There were none. Just as he was about to sigh in relief, however, what looked like a fifteen-pound neon green bowling ball suddenly hurtled up towards him.

"Oh, shit!"

He scrambled - or at least tried to scramble, given that he was floating in midair - out of the way, with the glow-in-the-dark bowling ball narrowly missing his spiky head. He looked up, watching as the ball flew up, up, and away until it disappeared into infinity.

He was still looking up when he felt himself suddenly hit something. He had stopped falling now, and had landed on something soft and fluffy and had the color of bubblegum pink. It was sweet-smelling, too, Ban added as an afterthought as a sugary scent wafted up his nostrils.

He sunk deep in that pink soft something, which almost buried his body as it conformed to his shape. It was very comfortable, Ban had to admit, comfortable enough that he could actually fall asleep on it. If he hadn't just fallen down from that dark hole right above him that he was now staring at.

His brain was still trying to process what had just happened when he heard a distant sound. He furrowed his brows as he listened closely. The sound seemed to be coming right from that dark hole. The sound got gradually louder and louder, and it was then that Ban realized what it was. It was the sound of Ginji's voice.

Amano Ginji, in chibi form, was now plunging down the hole towards him.

"WAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Ban's eyes widened, but before he could move, chibi Ginji landed hard right on his gut, knocking the wind out of the dark-haired retriever.

"Ooooomph!"

Tare Ginji groaned as well, his landing not quite as soft as Ban's was, which unfortunately Ban had to suffer more for. The blond lifted his head, and upon seeing his partner's grimace, gasped out loud. "Ban-chan! Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Ban managed to croak out. "Just get off me."

Ginji rolled off his partner, making the soft pink blob that they were on bounce with his movement.

Ban turned his head to look at his partner, then frowned. "What happened to your head?" He asked as he saw the huge bump on the blond's right temple.

"Bowling ball."

"Neon green?"

"Yeah."

Ban snickered.

"You saw it too, huh?" Ginji asked wryly.

"Yeah, and I managed to avoid it," Ban said smugly. Barely. But there was no need to mention that.

Ginji turned back into his normal form and stared up at the dark hole as he caught his breath. "Where are we, Ban-chan?"

"Good question," Ban, who was also staring at the dark hole, muttered. "I don't know." He paused. "At least we're still alive." Another pause. "I think."

"Do you think we're dreaming?"

"I'm not sure." Ban's frown deepened. "But it sure doesn't feel like it." He continued to stare at the hole as speculations started to swirl in his mind. Was this a dream? Were they dead? Was he hallucinating? Were they still in Disneyland? Was this some kind of virtual reality similar to Mugenjou?

He sighed as he tried to slow down his thoughts. At least Ginji was with him. This would suck all the more if he wasn't.

"Well," Ban finally said as a look of determination came over his face. "We won't find out if we just lie down here." He sat up, making his rear sink even lower down the marshmallow bed. He then let his eyes take in his surroundings.

They were in a stark white room, and the gargantuan pink marshmallow bed was elevated at the center of it. The walls were plain white, as well as the ceiling, except for the dark hole where the Get Backers had dropped down from. Ban couldn't see what was beyond the edge of the bed, but he could hear the soft hum of machinery emanating from below them.

He didn't know why, but a bad feeling had suddenly started to grow in the pit of his gut.

"This smells like marshmallows," Ginji, who had already sat up as well, said.

Ban frowned. "What smells like marshmallows?"

"This pink thing." Ginji held up his hand, which had taken a chunk out of the soft pink landing-pad-slash-bed. He moved his gloved hand closer to his nose, sniffed at the pink mass, then, without warning, took a big bite out of the chunk.

"Ginji!" Ban gasped.

The blond's eyes lit up. "It _is_ a marshamallow, Ban-chan! This thing is a giant marshmallow bed!"

"Which you shouldn't be eating!" Ban scolded. "You don't know who else have been on this bed! Or how many people have been on this bed! If this really isn't a dream, then you don't wanna be sick to your stomach now, do you?"

"You're right," the blond said thoughtfully. "Maybe Roger-san landed here, too."

"Right." Ban frowned as he remembered what brought them here in the first place. "Well... Assuming this isn't a dream, we gotta find that rabbit. Maybe he can give us some answers." He then muttered, "I'm not sure what else we can do, anyway."

Ban stood up, but the bed seemed to swallow his feet and his legs, making him sink down to his waist. He narrowed his eyes, glaring at the uncooperative pink sugary mass. He then decided to plop down on his stomach to avoid sinking any further. Making some swimming motions, undignified-looking as it was, seemed to help as he was now slowly moving forward.

Ginji did the same, and now both retrievers were swimming-slash-crawling across the pink gob, which frustratingly bounced with every motion. Soon, the duo reached the edge of the giant marshmallow. They both rolled off, dropping down to the floor on their knees. Their jaws then dropped open at the sight before them.

Their search for the white rabbit didn't last very long at all, since standing a few feet right in front of them was Roger Rabbit - several Roger Rabbits, actually, with their fuzzy pink ears perked up in alertness.

They were anthropomorphic rabbits, which were about waist height, some of which were wearing white lab coats. The majority, who were standing at attention and seemed to have been waiting for them to come down, were wearing army green military-looking uniforms. And just like the Disney character, the rabbits had gloved human-like hands, which turned out to have shotguns pointed at the newcomers.

"Ohhh-kayy..." Ban muttered. He almost felt like they were in some kind of 3D movie.

"Silence!"

One of the rabbits, who seemed to be the one in charge, given that he was wearing an important-looking military hat, growled at him. He had what looked like a pistol in his hand and aimed it right at the spiky-haired retriever.

Ban smirked. Dream or not, he was not about to be intimated by fuzzy rabbits. "And who might you be? General Furball?"

As a reply, the rabbit pulled the trigger, and a dart flew from the rabbit's weapon straight into Ban's left shoulder.

"Owww!" Ban winced, then glared at the rabbit. "Nice to meet you, too," he said sarcastically. He pulled the dart off his shoulder, his eyes narrowing into slits. "If that's how you want introductions to be, then meet the Invincible Mido Ban-sama!"

The Invincible Mido Ban-sama was just about to stand up when he suddenly paused, and a chuckle broke out from his lips. Before anybody else could react, the smirk that was on his face slowly disappeared and a gleeful smile formed in its place.

The retriever kept chuckling. Before long, the chuckle turned into a giggle, which turned into a laugh, which then turned into a loud guffaw.

"Ban-chan?" Ginji frowned in confusion as he stared at his partner, who was now holding his sides from laughing so hard. "What's so funny?"

Ban struggled to control his laughter, but was unsuccessful in doing so. "It's..." He chortled out. "... the dart." He bellowed out laughing again just as he finished his sentence. "It's got some... kind of... Bwahahahahaha!" He dropped down to the floor as his body convulsed with laughter. "... damn laughing drug! Teeeheeeheeeeeee! Shit..."

The blond watched in bewilderment as his partner writhed on the floor. With worry starting to crease his face, he turned to the rabbit general, and with his most threatening glare, said, "You didn't need to shoot him."

"Bwahahahahahahahaha!"

Ginji tried to ignore his cachinnating partner as he continued, "We're not here to harm you."

"I said, silence!" The rabbit growled again as he proceeded to shoot Ginji as well.

The blond was prepared for it, though. He shot out a streak of lightning at the flying dart, making its tip sizzle. "Can we please just talk without shooting?"

The rabbits all gasped in shock as they watched the dart drop down to the floor. There was silence for a moment, before one of them suddenly yelled. "It's the Fairy of Light!"

Ginji's frown grew deeper in puzzlement. "What?"

The rabbits screamed hysterically. Soon, pandemonium ensued as emergency alarms started to go off in the room.

_Oh, great_, Ginji thought wryly.

The soldier rabbits all shot at Ginji, but were not able to penetrate the electromagnetic shield that the blond had already created.

"Ban-chan!" Ginji yelled at his partner. "We gotta get out of here! I can't hold this shield and carry you at the same time!" Ban was still doubled over on the floor in his laughing fit, making Ginji mutter, "Especially when you're like that." Aloud, he continued, "You gotta snap out of it, Ban-chan!"

Ban was lying on his stomach now, slapping the floor with his palm, laughing as if Ginji had just told him the most hilarious joke ever. "It's not that... hahahahahaha!... easy!" He rolled to his back, and his legs curled up as he chortled. With tears streaming down his eyes, he managed to choke out, "Can't... stop... Dammit! Heeeeeheeeheee!"

The blond frowned. _Okay, then. Looks like it's gonna be up to me._

Blasts of white energy fired from Ginji's palms, making the first row of rabbits go down. By this time, the rabbits wearing lab coats had already fled the room and were quickly replaced by more squads of military-uniform-clad rabbits. They continued to shoot darts at the retrievers, and Ginji responded by sending streak after streak of electricity.

"Ginji!"

Ginji's eyes flicked over to his partner. Still curled up on the floor laughing his head off, Ban pointed up towards the top of the giant marshmallow bed that they had dropped down from. As Ginji turned his head to look at what Ban was pointing at, a dart flew towards him, hitting him squarely on the side of the neck.

The source of the dart was a shotgun-looking weapon being held by a soldier rabbit that was standing on top of the marshmallow.

The blond pulled the dart off his neck. _Uh-oh._ Flicking his eyes from the tip of the dart towards Ban, he started to say, "I hope this isn't...", but stopped. He bit his lip, and beads of sweat started to form around his forehead as he tried hard - very hard - to suppress the tremors that were threatening to take over his body.

Finally, Ginji could not hold it in any longer. Before long, the dreaded sounds of mirth erupted from his lips, and he collapsed to the floor next to his partner in his own fit of uncontrollable laughter.

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A/N: The marshmallow bed was partly inspired by the one in the Park Avenue Armory in New York. I say "partly" because I already thought of that and decided to find out if something like that actually exists. And yes, a bubblegum-pink marshmallow bed does exist. Except that you can't eat that one.

Just in case you haven't noticed, this is now a crackfic. I edited this chapter to make some descriptions clearer. I thought it was ready when I first posted it, but I guess it wasn't. Sorry about that. I hope this one's better.

Oh, and I'm making use of this new Image Manager feature here at FFN (multi-colored glowing bubbles seem to be appropriate). Let's see how this goes :)

To vedha:

Nope, I haven't been to Tokyo Disneyland. I've been to the one in California, though, so I used that to get that "magical" atmosphere. I just looked at maps for the Tokyo one for reference. Google Maps can even show you where the backstage areas are! ;)

To Atropos' Knife:

There would definitely be lawsuits if Ban were to be hired by Disney in the US. Aside from that near strangulation, he just made Mickey Mouse jump over the bushes, which doesn't exactly make him a nominee for the Best Disney Cast Member award :) But yes, I find it fascinating how the cast members can keep being in character even when they're flustered. And as for the talking Toonhole, it's not AI. It's... (say this with a whisper and with lots of breath)... magic. LOL!

Btw, the evil bunnies were inspired by your last review for The Gemstone Waltz, where you mentioned "plot bunnies". Thanks for that hehe ;)


	5. The Cat's Out Of The Bag

Disclaimer: Nothing's changed. I still don't own anything.

A/N: Just to let you know, this fic has indeed turned into crack, so it is best enjoyed without too much thinking.

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**V. The Cat's Out Of The Bag**

The white rabbit peered down at him, and Mido Ban responded by giving it another glare.

'It'. He still wasn't sure whether to refer to the creature as 'it' or 'him'. Or it could even be a 'her', he had no idea. The thing's face and body looked very much like a rabbit's, but unlike a normal rabbit, it stood upright about waist height, was wearing a white lab coat, and had yellow-gloved human-like hands. The rabbit acted very much like a human, except for the constant wriggling of its white furry nose as it scribbled something onto the clipboard that it was holding.

The retriever was lying down on a stretcher, bound by pink elastic rubber-looking straps - they seemed to be very fond of pink, Ban mused - which wrapped tightly around his arms, his wrists, his chest, his legs, and his ankles. The restraints seemed stretchable enough, but its thickness and Ban's current lack of strength, thanks to that damn laughing drug, made it hard for him to even attempt an escape.

_Who knew that laughing can be so exhausting?_ Ban grumbled to himself as he turned his head to the right.

At the right side of the stretcher was a glowing screen that looked like a computer monitor showing various images and patterns that Ban couldn't quite make out. His partner, Amano Ginji, was at the other side of the room, also bound to a stretcher while another rabbit hovered over him. They were in another stark white room - a small laboratory of some sort. The top half of the wall next to Ginji was covered with large mirrors, which Ban assumed would probably be of the two-way kind, which meant that they were being watched. By whom, he had no idea.

The spiky-haired retriever watched as the rabbit that was observing him pulled out a pocket watch. The rabbit glanced at it briefly, then dropped the watch back into its lab coat pocket.

"So," Ban said, startling the rabbit. "What time is it?"

After staring at him for a moment, the rabbit smiled, its two front teeth gleaming from the light coming from the computer screen beside him. "It's time for the tests."

So it's a 'he', Ban thought upon hearing the rabbit's voice. He then frowned at the rabbit's answer. "What tests?"

Instead of answering, the rabbit just smiled again, then walked over to the far corner of the room where a stainless steel table was. The other rabbit that was looking at Ginji also made its way to the steel table, which contained an assortment of weird tools and instruments that looked like they could cause various amounts of pain.

"Oi!" Ban called out after Rabbit #1, his frown turning into a glare once again. "I'm not done talking to you!"

"Ban-chan!" Ginji said as he tried to lift up his head to look at his partner, but the pink elastic strap around the blond's neck pulled him back down again, making him groan and mumble at no one in particular. "What _are_ these things?"

Rabbit #2 had already returned to stand beside Ginji when he replied, "They're strands of heavy-duty gum."

Ginji frowned. "Gum? You mean chewing gum?"

"No," the rabbit answered, shaking its head and making its long ears flop around as it corrected him. It was then that Ginji noticed that this particular rabbit had a small gap in between its two front teeth. "Not chewing gum, but _chewed_ gum."

"_Chewed_ gum?" Ginji repeated, his face scrunching up at the thought.

"Hush now," the rabbit then said in a soothing voice. "This won't hurt a bit."

"What won't hurt a bit?" Ban interrupted.

"Just a little test to see how you would react," Rabbit #1, who had also made his way back to Ban, replied.

"React to what? To torture?" The dark-haired Get Backer turned his glare back to the first rabbit "Is that what you're planning to do to us?"

The rabbit just gave him a creepy-looking smile, which didn't do much to reassure him.

_Man... Ginji's rabbit seems a lot nicer._

He watched with suspicion as the rabbit raised its right gloved hand, which was now holding a silver pen-like instrument that had a thick black tip. Rabbit #2 did the same as it looked down at Ginji.

"What's that?" Ban demanded, eyeing the instrument.

The rabbits didn't reply, and a look of concentration replaced the creepy smile that was on Rabbit #1's face as it proceeded to move the black tip closer to Ban's face. Ban tried to move, but just managed to turn his face away due to the restraints that held him in place. The rabbit just reached out farther and was able to connect the tip of the instrument to the top of Ban's upper lip.

"What're you doing?" Ban squirmed as much as he could, moving his head back and forth to try to throw the rabbit off. "Stop it! What the hell is that?"

"Stop moving," said the rabbit, who impressively was still able to follow the retriever's head movements with the tip of the tool. "It'll turn out better if you do."

"What'll turn out better? What're you talking about?"

The rabbit ignored him, letting Ban continue in his failed attempts to avoid the instrument.

"Whatever the hell you're doing, stop it or you're gonna regret it!"

The rabbit didn't stop.

_Alright, you little rodent. You asked for it._

Ban narrowed his eyes, and without warning, shot his right fist up, stretching the pink elastic strap as he let his fist connect with the rabbit's cheek. Just as the rabbit grunted in pain, the strap pulled the retriever's wrist down against the stretcher. He tried to sit up, but his upper body was yanked quickly back by the straps. He cursed.

Ginji took that as his cue to attack as well. Rabbit #2 yelped as a jolt of electricity shocked its hand that was touching the blond's face. Soon, sparks started to dance around Ginji's body.

With Rabbit #1 holding the sore spot on his face, and Rabbit #2 holding his own sore spot on his hand, the two rabbits quickly turned their heads to one side of the room. Ban snorted as he saw them give frantic looks towards the large mirrors. He was right. Those _were_ two-way mirrors. And the freaks were asking for help. Which meant that they were going to have some company. Now if he could just free himself from these damn straps...

Ginji suddenly gave a little yowl, turning chibi as he tried to move away from the elastic bands that were now burning from his electricity. "Hot! Hot! Hot! Owww..." He bounced down to the floor, then rolled to put out the small flames that were now on his clothes.

Ban lifted his head to see what was going on. When he saw his partner on the floor, he smiled. "Ginji! You're free!"

Ginji, who had just succeeded in putting the flames out of his clothes, stopped rolling as he realized that turning chibi had actually made him slip easily through the straps. "Oh. You're right."

"Now help me get off this thing!" Ban smirked as he let his head drop back down against the stretcher. Once he's free, they should be able to easily handle any rabbit squads that he was sure would show up soon.

Ginji stood up, turning back into his normal form. Before making his way to his partner, he shot warning looks at the two rabbits, who were now cowering in one corner of the room. Just as he was about to take a step, however, he heard Ban mutter.

"Ummm..."

The blond turned to Ban then stopped in surprise as he stared at his partner's face.

Ban lifted his head again to look at Ginji, and the hint of an amused smile was on his lips when he said, "You have a unibrow." His efforts to keep a straight face then failed, his head dropping down again to the stretcher as he snickered.

Ginji's surprise had more to do with what he saw than his partner's remark, though. Unbeknownst to Ban, a track of black markings whose ends curved upwards now appeared above Ban's upper lip.

The blond covered his own amused smile with his left hand as he pointed his right index finger at his partner. "And you have a moustache."

Ban stopped his snickering. "What?"

Ginji was chuckling now. "With curly ends, too."

Ban, the newly moustachioed Get Backer, stared at Ginji. Realizing what the rabbit had just done to his face, he then narrowed his eyes as he turned to Rabbit #1. "Oh, you're soooo gonna regret this."

"Yikes!" Ginji yelped as he caught a reflection of himself in the large mirror that was on the wall. Sure enough, there was a thick black line that was now connecting his eyebrows. He tried to rub it off with his finger, but to no avail. "Awww, man..."

Just then, the door to the room flew open, snapping Ginji back to their current predicament. He would deal with the unibrow later.

Six rabbits clad in military uniforms charged into the room with pistols in their hands.

Ban sighed, muttering, "And here they come."

"Freeze!" The leading rabbit barked.

"'Silence', and 'freeze'," the spiky-haired remarked. "Is that all you guys know how to say?"

"You talk too much." The leader rabbit glared at Ban. "If you talked a little bit less, you wouldn't be in this circumstance."

"Okay," Ban piped. "So why don't you talk this time? You can start by telling us what the hell this place is."

"You seem to be forgetting that you're still bound, and not in any position to give us commands."

"What about me?" Ginji chimed in. "I'm not bound. Can I give you commands?"

The rabbit frowned as he realized the hole in his reasoning. "No." He motioned to his comrades. "Bind him!"

Ginji smiled at them as he shook his head, the unibrow making the usually amiable-looking retriever seem more sinister. "Not a good idea."

Showing their propensity to fire at the smallest provocations, the rabbits once again shot darts at the retrievers. Ginji easily deflected them with his electromagentic shield. Instead of letting the darts drop down to the floor, however, the blond redirected them back towards the soldier rabbits.

The rabbits shrieked as they saw the darts flying back at them. Two of them got hit, and they dropped down to the floor laughing hysterically. The other four were able to dodge the darts and had now spread out across the room. Ginji shot streaks of electricity towards the two rabbits that were closest to him, taking both of them down.

The remaining two rabbits got close enough to Ban that the bound retriever was able to jerk his leg out, kicking one rabbit hard on the side of its head. The blow knocked the rabbit out, and it fell down to the floor with a thud. Ban was also able to sit up briefly to deliver a hard blow to the other rabbit's nose. The retriever's body, however, drew quickly back down against the stretcher, thanks to those damn elastic straps.

The rabbit's hands flew to its nose as it bent over in pain. Ginji finished it off with a blast of electricity, which made the last rabbit drop down to the floor.

"I've had it with these annoying straps!" A frustrated Mido Ban griped as he gritted his teeth.

With a surge of strength, he raised his legs, pulling against the restraints. He then rolled his body off the stretcher, letting his feet land solidly on the floor. Just as he was about to wriggle himself free, the elastic straps contracted, causing the stretcher to hurl itself against Ban's back. The force caused the grumbling retriever to fall forwards, pasting his face neatly to the floor.

Underneath the stretcher, Ginji heard a soft moan. "Owww..."

"Ban-chan!" He cried out as he ran towards the overturned stretcher. "Are you alright?"

A muffled voice answered. "I'm fine. Just... squashed, that's all."

Ginji quickly bent down to turn the stretcher upright. Once it was back on its wheels, one of the scientist rabbits spoke.

"You're not gonna get away."

It was Rabbit #1. Ginji turned to look at him, and the rabbit met his eyes with a smug look, a creepy smile once again on its features. The expression on Rabbit #2's face was a little bit different, though. Ginji wasn't sure, but... there seemed to be concern in this particular rabbit's eyes.

"More are coming," Rabbit #2 warned.

"Okay," Ginji said as he quickly made his way to the head of Ban's stretcher. "Then we're getting away right now." He then started to push the stretcher out the door.

"Ginji," Ban said, agitation filling his bright blue eyes. "Where are you taking me? Free me first!"

"But I don't want to electrocute you, Ban-chan!" Ginji explained, referring to how he himself was able to get free. "I'm getting you out of here first! It'll be easier to free you once we're out of sight of the rabbits."

"What?" Ban said incredulously as Ginji pushed him along a white corridor. "But that will take a while! More rabbits are coming!"

"But that's why I'm getting you out of here!"

Ginji arbitrarily chose to turn right at the end of the hallway, then abruptly skidded to a halt as he saw a full squad of soldier rabbits at the other end. The squad stopped as well, surprise evident on their furry features as they stared at the blond and the spiky-haired man on the stretcher. Ginji then recovered from his own surprise, backtracking quickly to turn back to the hallway that they came from.

"Told ya!" Ban said to his partner, who was now pulling the stretcher behind him this time as he ran. "This would be so much easier if you just freed me first!"

"I'm sorry, Ban-chan!" Ginji tried to run as fast as he could, pulling the stretcher while occasionally turning his head to watch out for the rabbits. "But it's a little too late for that now!"

"You think?" Ban said sarcastically as he lifted his head. Beyond the other end of the stretcher past his feet, he could see the rabbit squad just emerging from the end of the hallway. All of them - with the rabbits in the front kneeling down while the others remained standing - aimed their shotguns at the fleeing retrievers. "Ummm... Ginji?"

Ginji turned his head, and with his free hand, sent blasts of electricity toward them. They reached the other end of the corridor and made another turn. This hallway was a lot longer than the previous one, and was clear of rabbits when they turned. That situation did not last very long, however.

At the end of that long hallway soon appeared another squad of soldier rabbits. Ginji fired more streaks of energy towards them. He then saw a wide open doorway in the middle of the hallway, which the blond did not hesitate to turn to. He hastily entered through the door, pulling the stretcher behind him.

It was then that he found out that doorway led to a very long descending flight of stairs. The unexpected drop caused Ginji to stumble down.

"Waaaah!" Ginji screamed, turning chibi as he tried to run down as fast as he could to avoid being run over by the stretcher that was now chasing him.

Ban screamed as well, his hands clenching tightly around the edges of the stretcher as he felt his body jolt with every step that it bounced off of, making his scream sound more like a staccato.

Thinking that he wouldn't be able to outrun the stretcher any longer, chibi Ginji leapt high up, flipping over and inadvertently stomping on his partner's mutaschioed face, which caused Ban to go, "Aaaack!". The momentum caused Ginji to tumble over his chibi head before being able to grip the pink elastic strap that was wrapped around Ban's chest. The stretcher was still hurling down the stairs, so now both retrievers were joining screams in a megalophonic staccato duet.

The stairs finally ended, and the Get Backers now found themselves in an enormous rocky cavern. The stretcher continued to race forward until it suddenly hit a metal railing. Its speed caused it to flick over the railing, and the retrievers screamed louder as the stretcher fell, spinning in the air as it hurtled down.

The stomach-churning sensations reminded Ban of a thrill ride that he and Ginji tried once before in an amusement park, except that this one did nothing to give some semblance of safety. He squeezed his eyes shut, his hands gripping the edges of the stretcher, grimacing as he and Ginji screamed for their lives.

Just when it seemed that there was no way out of the situation, the stretcher suddenly stopped falling as the bars underneath it miraculously got caught by a giant crane hook - which was conveniently close by - causing the stretcher to dangle upside down.

Ban continued to fall, his body pulling the straps of the stretcher down, making his body dangle à la Tom Cruise in that Mission Impossible Cable Drop scene.

The sudden stop made Ginji lose his grip on the elastic band that he was holding. "Ban-chaaaaaaan!" He screamed, flailing his chibi arms as he fell. His rear landed on the ground, which turned out to be just a four-foot drop from the upside-down stretcher.

Ban was staring down at chibi Ginji's unibrowed face, still in shock, when his bent knees let his legs slide out of the stretched straps. Soon, the rest of his body followed, slipping out of the stretched restraints. The restraints snapped back against the stretcher as his legs folded underneath him, and he ended up sitting cross-legged in front of Ginji, still with that shocked expression on his mustachioed face.

The duo stared at each other for a while with their breaths still held and their bodies still tense.

Finally, after realizing that they both weren't dead, Ban let out a sigh of relief. "Whaddaya know?" He said with a nervous laugh, his nerves just starting to settle down. "You did manage to free me once we were out of sight of the rabbits." He then gave his partner a wry smile. "I would've preferred a less thrilling way, though."

If Ginji weren't still shaken from the adrenaline, he would've chuckled at his partner's mustachioed smile.

They were now sitting inside an enormous rocky chamber. At each end of the chamber were two strong floodlights which provided enough light for them to see their surroundings. High above them dangling from the roof were impressive-looking stalactites. At Ban's right was a massive rock wall about twenty storeys high, the top of which had the metal railing where they had just flipped over. The wall had several dark holes that were about two feet wide.

The ground that they were on ended a few feet away to Ban's left, and soft lights of different colors glowed from below the edge. Whatever this place was, it was busy, for the retrievers could hear the sounds of heavy machinery.

Feeling the sensation of being watched, Ban looked around, but could see no one. He took another look at the dark holes in the walls, but it was hard to tell whether the holes contained anything - or anyone.

Curious as to what the source of the glow was, Ginji then stood up and walked over to the edge of the ledge that they were on. He looked down and saw a good ten-storey drop, but what made the blond's eyes widen with wonder was the source of the multi-colored glow.

Mining carts filled with glowing balls of different colors followed one after the other, sliding along wooden rails that curved along the ground and eventually disappearing into a bigger hole in the wall. The balls looked very much like the ones that the retrievers had seen when they first jumped down the toonhole.

"Looks like some kind of mining operation," Ban, who was now standing beside Ginji with his hands in his pockets, commented. He would've looked like his usual cool self, if not for the moustache.

Ginji looked at his partner and said, "Yeah, but what are they mining?"

The dark-haired retriever looked back at the mining carts, then shrugged. "Those balls, I guess? Whatever they are."

Just then, the retrievers both felt a presence behind them. They quickly turned around, and their eyes landed on what looked like a 3D-animated purple-striped chubby cat with a red nose and bright yellow eyes that stared back at them. Ban frowned. The cat looked very much like another Disney character.

"Cheshire cat? (1)" The spiky-haired retriever asked, his brows furrowing in confusion.

"So cute!" Ginji exclaimed as he remembered a certain Honky Tonk waitress who loved cats. "I bet Natsumi-chan would love to see this!"

The Cheshire cat grinned, but instead of the human-like grin that the Disney character had, this grin showed the cat's long fangs.

Ban caught his breath, taken aback by the less-than-friendly sight. "I think I'm gonna take you up on that bet. How much?"

Before Ginji could answer, more fang-filled grins materialized from inside the dark holes that were on the rock wall. The Cheshire cat faces where the grins belonged to then slowly appeared, followed by their purple-striped bodies.

Ban stared at the cats, feeling an unpleasant sense of déjà vu. This was the exact sensation that he had when he was surrounded by those monkeys in the hot spring some time ago. (2) He eyed them warily, and with extreme caution in his voice, said, "Nice kitty..."

The Cheshire cats held up their paws, and a high-pitched 'shiiiiing!' sound was heard as they all extended their claws in unison.

Ginji gulped, then muttered, "Oh, boy."

* * *

A/N: Oh, boy, indeed. Told ya that this is now a crackfic.

You might not have expected this shift towards crack in the previous chapter, so I modified that to add a few more descriptions. Hopefully, it made things clearer. Also, this chapter was supposed to be longer, but I didn't know if it was a good idea to throw too many wierd things at you all at once, so I decided to spare you from that. For now :D

(1) There are lots of different adaptations of the Cheshire cat character from Alice in Wonderland, but I chose Disney's version to go with the Disney theme. But yeah, I did take some liberties with the characters, so... please don't sue me, Disney!

(2) I'm referring to Episode 26 of the anime, where Ban and Ginji fought a bunch of monkeys, and they didn't exactly win.

Atropos' Knife:

Once again, thanks for the critique. I agree that the previous chapter was a bit confusing. Yes, the Roger Rabbits look like 3D-animated characters (like the movie), and yes they're anthropomorphic. I modified the previous chapter to make that more clear, and reiterated that here. Oh, and thanks, too, for the reassurance that there's no reason to hold back, so I won't. So yes, there's more wack to come :)

bokpricken:

You read the modified version, so I think that means that it was improved hehe :) Thanks for the review! I'm glad I managed to get some laughs out of you :)


	6. This Ain't No Theme Park

Disclaimer #1: I don't own the Get Backers, or the Roger Rabbits, or the Cheshire Cats.

Warning: For your safety, please keep your arms, legs and other body parts with you for the entire duration of this ride.

* * *

**VI. This Ain't No Theme Park**

As if on cue, the Cheshire Cats all charged, swarming at the Get Backers in droves. The next scene was a flurry of claws and purple fur, combined with the sounds of yelps, cat screeches, and the occasional sizzle.

Mido Ban grunted as he managed to hurl two cats away from him. The cats screeched as they flew in the air, but true to their feline nature, was able to land right on their feet. Being Cheshire Cats, they disappeared into thin air, then reappeared just when they were about to claw the retriever's back.

Amano Ginji was not faring any better. The ability of the cats to disappear and reappear at will contributed to the chaos. Plus, he had been using his electricity so much that he was already feeling the drain in his energy levels.

As if being clawed by angry cats wasn't bad enough, darts then started to rain down on them.

Ban and Ginji looked up to see that soldier rabbits were now at the top of the rock wall where they had fallen down from, with guns aimed downwards at them.

"Ginji!" Ban barked out as he threw more cats to the ground. "We gotta get outta here!" He then ran towards the edge of the ledge, yelling, "Follow me!" And with that, he jumped.

Ban landed in one of the mining carts that were rolling towards the opening in the wall. Ginji sent one last streak of energy at the cats, dodging the darts as he followed suit. He then jumped over the edge and landed in the same cart where his partner was, making some of the glowing balls spill out onto the rails. The rabbits then became more aggressive in their dart barrage, but the cart thankfully disappeared into the tunnel, taking the Get Backers with it.

The shooting soon stopped as the cart rolled its way deeper into the tunnel. The duo looked behind them, alert and ready for any kind of follow-up attack, but there was none.

"Phew." Ginji sighed in relief, the sound being amplified by the walls of the tunnel. "That was close." His arms were full of scratches and his clothes had some tears, but he was otherwise alright. "Those cats were vicious."

"It's not over yet," Ban said, his eyes set on the tracks ahead. His condition was pretty much the same as his partner's, with several scratches on his arms and several tears on his clothes.

The cart moved on, and all they could hear besides some moisture dripping down the walls of the tunnel was the chugging sound of the cart's wheels against the rickety wooden rail. Way ahead of them was another mining cart filled with glowing balls. It was dark, with the glowing balls that were in the carts their only source of light. Fascinated, Ginji picked up one of the balls, which had a blue-green hue that glimmered in his hand.

Soon enough, the tunnel opened up, and the retrievers then found themselves in another wide open enclosure, the wooden tracks cutting across to disappear into another hole in the rock wall. Below the tracks was what looked like pink lava, its steam rising up as it illuminated the cavern with its soft pink glow.

They weren't alone, though.

Protruding from the sides of the cavern were flat shelves of rock where more Cheshire Cats stood, their bright yellow eyes glinting. And to make matters worse, standing with the cats were more rabbit soldiers, all armed with rifles.

"Shit," Ban cursed as he saw the rabbits aim their rifles at them.

He and Ginji both ducked in time just as the shots were fired. They expected another salvo of darts to come flying at them, which would've been fine since they could just stay down shielded inside the mining cart. But instead of the now familiar feathery light darts, the cart was being pelted with something much heavier - metal rods with little suction cups at the end. This new ammo stuck to the sides of the cart, pushing it sideways and threatening to tilt it off the tracks to fall into the hot pink liquid below.

Ban cursed again as he and Ginji repositioned themselves inside the cart to counterbalance it. Ginji furrowed his brows - wrinkled his unibrow seemed more like it - and wondered what he and his partner could do to fight the rabbits. They were too far away for the retrievers to even touch them, and sending electrical streaks were taking too much energy.

The cart thankfully turned itself back upright, and the glowing balls rolled inside the cart, with one of them almost hitting Ginji in the eye. As he moved his head away, the blond's eyes lit up as an idea struck him.

With the glowing blue-green ball still in his hand, Ginji popped his head up, risking being hit by whatever it was that the rabbits were shooting at them, then hurled the ball at the nearest rabbit. The ball knocked the rabbit on its head, making it drop down to the ground. Encouraged by the hit, he threw another ball, and another, and another until he saw one of the rabbits aim its shotgun at him. He ducked back down just in time.

Ban, who was watching Ginji, gave an approving nod. "Great idea." He then mimicked his partner as he, too, picked up a ball and hurled it towards a rabbit. The rabbit fell down with a thud.

"Yeah!" The spiky-haired retriever cheered, pumping his fist into the air. "In your face, whiskerface!" He then quickly ducked as he saw a suction-cup bullet fly straight at him. His spiky head emerged again, and he hollered out. "Is that all ya got?"

Ginji smiled, amused at his partner's newfound vigor. He then popped his head out as well, and together, the retrieval duo stood back-to-back, ducking and hurling balls at the furry hostiles that were shooting at them from both sides of the cavern. The Cheshire Cats had all stood up now, their tails flipping back and forth with tension as they hissed at the retrievers. Thankfully for the Get Backers, the cats were not stupid enough to try to leap into their cart.

"Get a load of this!" Ban said as he smashed a ball into a rabbit's face. "And this!" Another ball, another rabbit down. He ducked to avoid another suction-cup bullet, then smacked a ball right into the head of the rabbit that aimed at him. "Woohoo!" He pointed mockingly at the rabbit that he had just hit. "Right back at ya!"

A salvo of suction-cup bullets then rained on them, making both retrievers duck down. During this brief respite, Ban turned to his partner with a mischevious look in his eyes. "This is actually fun," he said, his drawn moustache curling up all the more as he smiled.

Ginji chuckled, smiling back at him in agreement.

Once the barrage of bullets faded, Ginji popped his blond head out, and a suction-cup bullet flew right by his ear. "You missed!" He pointed at the rabbit that missed his aim. "You shoot like a baby!" At Ban's raised eyebrow, he yelled out at the rabbit again. "Which means that you're not very good!"

Ban was snickering now.

The blond ducked back down, muttering, "Okay, I'm a pretty bad heckler."

"You just need more practice. Good try, though," Ban said, smiling as he stood up and once again started throwing balls at the rabbits.

The Get Backers continued to throw balls one after another, dodging the suction-cup bullets as they smacked the rabbits down. One by one, rabbits on both sides of the cavern dropped down. They soon ran out of balls, but that was okay since the mining cart had now reached the other opening in the wall, leaving the pink lava pit behind as it went deeper into another dark tunnel. They could no longer see the mining cart that was previously before them, and without the glowing balls, the retrievers now found themselves enveloped in total darkness.

Ginji heard Ban snicker in the dark, and he could imagine his partner's smile as the dark-haired retriever sighed with exhiliration.

"That was awesome," Ban said as he sat back down and rested his head on the inside wall of the cart. "I knew I'd be great at dodge ball."

They felt the cart tilt backwards as the tracks went up on an angle, and they knew that they were now going uphill.

"You're great at a lot of things, Ban-chan."

"True, true." He then laughed softly. "You weren't so bad yourself. Did you see that rabbit's face when you hit his rifle, and the rifle's butt just went right into his nose?"

"Yeah, that was funny." Ginji laughed. "And one of the rabbits was so good at dodging, you made him dance for a bit before hitting him right on his... ummm... y'know." He snickered.

Ban snickered as well. "I think that was my best shot. I would've loved to see an instant replay of that one."

Ginji laughed again. After a short pause, he said, "Ne, Ban-chan."

"Hmmm?"

"We've been going up for a while now, haven't we?" Ginji asked, referring to the mining cart's movement.

Ban thought for a while, then answered, "Yeah. We'll probably emerge somewhere above ground, then. Which is good. That way we can get away from this place much easier."

There was a pause. "Ban-chan?"

"Hmmm?"

"Are we still in Disneyland?"

There was silence for a bit.

"I don't know." Ban finally answered with a sigh. "We're somewhere underground, that's for sure." Even though Ginji couldn't see him, he shrugged. "We're probably just right under Disneyland."

A pinpoint of light then appeared from above, which made Ban and Ginji both look up. The mining cart was still going uphill, and they saw that the pinpoint of light was coming from the top of the tracks.

"Looks like we're coming out soon," Ban said as he eyed the top of the tracks. "Judging from the distance that we've gone, we might be emerging out onto Westernland." He then looked at his partner and gave him a reassuring smile. "Once we get above ground, we just need to find the Cinderella castle. (1) We can easily get back to Toontown from there."

"Okay," Ginji answered, smiling back at him.

The cart continued to go up, up, and up, and its chugging sound reminded Ban of the sound that a rollercoaster would make as it went up right before that first big drop.

"Man," Ban muttered. "How high does this go?"

"Well, we're almost there," Ginji said, his eyes glued to the top of the tracks.

Soon, the mining cart emerged out of the dark hole, and the two retrievers caught their breath at the marvelous sight that was before them.

The hole that they emerged from was at the side of a majestic cliff that towered over a thick carpet of sprawling forest underneath them. In the distance, they could see low-lying mists swirl through the trees in one section of the forest. At their left down below was a plateau, where a waterfall streamed down its craggy side into a slender blue ribbon of water that curved through the lush green foliage.

Ban stared at the view, then gave a low whistle. "You know what? I don't think this is Disneyland, anymore."

Ginji, who had his mouth open in astonishment, nodded slowly in agreement. "I don't think so, either."

The mining cart continued to go up, its motors pulling it up the tracks, which had now changed from rickety wood to steel. The motors then stopped, and the sudden silence brought Ban and Ginji back to their current situation. They turned to look forward, and that was when they noticed that the cart was now at the peak of the most elevated point in the tracks.

And right in front of them was a huge drop that rivaled that of Takabisha (2).

They heard the distinct sound of the locks on the mining cart disengaging, and before they knew it, the cart did a heart-lurching nosedive down the steep incline. They screamed, both of them turning chibi as the cart plunged down, entering into an inline twist, followed quickly by a heartline roll and a double corkscrew.

"What kind of IDIOT would design mining tracks like this?" Ban, who felt like his internal organs got left behind at the top of the tracks, managed to yell out.

The cart entered into a pretzel loop, before hurtling back into another heart-stopping plunge, which then led to another series of stomach-flipping rolls, loops, twists, and overbanked turns. (3)

They were still screaming their tonsils out when the tracks finally leveled out. It still wasn't the time to relax, however, since the cart continued to race across the rails with white-knuckle speed. Up some distance ahead, they could now see the mining cart that was previously in front of them.

Just then, that mining cart ahead made a sudden turn to the right.

The tracks apparently had now split into two, and for some reason, the Get Backers' cart turned to the left. Since they weren't sure whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, plus the fact that there really wasn't much they could do anyway, they decided to ride it out, bracing themselves for whatever surprises that may be lurking at this end of the tracks.

The surprises came soon enough - in the form of big yellow warning signs. And if the messages on the signs were an indication - 'Caution', 'Wrong way', 'Track suddenly ends', 'Turn back or die' - then it meant that that left turn was turning out to be a bad thing - a very bad thing, indeed.

The track curved up for a bit and, sure enough, ended abruptly, which launched the cart upwards, making it soar across the canopy of trees.

A little blue bird happily tweeting a tune suddenly stopped as it heard distant screams. It flapped its wings, hovering in the air as it looked around, and that's when it noticed the projectile that was flying upwards toward it.

The projectile, which turned out to be a mining cart, reached its vertex right in front of the bird. Time seemed to stop as the bird stared. The cart's contents, which were two guys - a blond one with a drawn unibrow, and a spiky-haired one with purple glasses and a drawn handlebar moustache - had just stopped screaming and were staring right back at the bird. The time-stopping moment didn't last very long, however. The cart continued on its journey, leaving the wide-eyed bird behind as gravity hurled it downward back to the ground.

The mining cart shot through the thick green canopy, crackling some branches and scattering leaves wildly around as it hurtled past the trees. Thankfully, the thick layer of massive branches helped to cushion the cart's fall, letting it land semi-softly against the forest floor.

It skidded across, leaving trail marks on the moss that covered the ground, and stopping only when it bumped into the thick gnarled root of a gigantic tree. The force of the sudden stop sent the two retrievers flying over the large root, making them scream for what seemed like the umpteenth time today. They soon landed facedown a few feet away on a bed of ferns.

Ban moaned, his spiky head buried within the fern leaves. He lifted his head weakly off the ferns, groaning again as he tried to catch his breath. Crazily enough, his glasses managed to stay with him throughout this whole ordeal.

He still hadn't fully recovered from the shock of it all when the air suddenly became filled with the strumming sound of a banjo.

He spotted Ginji a few feet away as the blond also lifted his head. Both of them looked towards the direction of the sound, and the Get Backers then found themselves staring at another strange creature.

The creature was a little humanoid about a foot high and had pointy ears. It was sitting on an unusually large red-and-white polka-dotted mushroom, its earth brown booted feet dangling down the mushroom cap. On its head was a red pointed hat, and an earth brown belt wrapped around its forest green tunic.

The image reminded Ban of a garden gnome.

Across the gnome's chest was a banjo, which the gnome continued to strum with a melancholy tune as it looked back at them. Ban was still figuring out what to make of this sight when the gnome just then opened its mouth in a mournful song:

"Two fellas fell from the sky  
And I do not know why  
They bumped their heads  
Their clothes torn in shreds  
And all they can do now is cry"

* * *

Disclaimer #2: Okay, I own the singing gnome. And his awful song.

A/N: The next chapter may take me a while to write since I'm still figuring out some (or you could say a lot) of the details. But I do hope you're having fun with it, so far. As always, feedback is very much appreciated. It would be nice to know that I'm not laughing by myself here. Or if you think some tweaks are needed to make it even more fun, do let me know :)

You know what's funny (hopefully besides this fic)? There was a rabbit on my parking space at home two days after I posted the previous chapter. A RABBIT! In the years that I've been staying at this place, I have never seen a rabbit before in this area. Then on the next day, it was there again! And it was looking right at me with that deceitfully innocent look while it wriggled its furry nose. They're onto me, I tell ya! I need to be careful now, or I might end up with face ink... Oh, the horror!

Speaking of face ink...

Hey, everyone! It's time for the Great Get Backers Chibi Ink Face Challenge!

Atropos' Knife mentioned fanart with Ban and Ginji's face ink, and I think that is a GREAT idea! To anybody out there who has even just a fraction of a skill in sketching, it would be an honor if you could make an attempt at this inspiring piece of artwork :) You can then send it to me, and I can use your fanart as the cover for this story :D I'm not sure if anybody would respond to this challenge, but hey, it's worth a try :)

(1) Westernland is at the other side of Tokyo Disneyland, opposite Toontown. The Cinderella castle is that distinctly Disney castle that is at the center of the theme park.

(2) Takabisha is currently the world's steepest rollercoaster, according to the Guinness Book of World Records. It's located in the Fuji-Q Highland Amusement Park, which has a great view of Mt. Fuji. The problem is, nobody would be looking at the view while in this coaster. Check out pics of this monster. I get vertigo just by looking at those tracks. I'd ride it, though ;)

(3) Inline twist, heartline roll, double corkscrew, pretzel loop. These are all roller coaster elements designed to stop your heart.

Atropos' Knife: No, it's not just you imagining Ban and Ginji in their chibi forms :) Yes, I did intend it to be cartoon-y, and I'm glad that came across :) I didn't think of Akabane's scalpels when I first wrote about the Cheshire Cats' claws, but you're so right on! How can I _not_ think of that? *slaps myself on the forehead* This description is so appropriate that I might just use that in later chapters, if you don't mind :D Oh, and thanks for the confirmation that the modified version of Chapter 4 is better :)

bokpricken: Ummm... I don't exactly know how I came up with that one. And even if I knew, you probably wouldn't really wanna know where it came from, anyway :D Yeah, after this job, a vacation for our favorite retrievers would be nice - IF they have enough money hehehe. And nope, I didn't hold back on the crack, did I? :D


	7. No Encore, Please!

Disclaimer: I don't own GB.

A/N: This fic doesn't have audio (which is actually a good thing!), so you're gonna have to use your musical imagination in some parts. And with that, we begin with the song from the previous chapter...

* * *

**VII. No Encore, Please!**

"Two fellas fell from the sky  
And I do not know why  
They bumped their heads  
Their clothes torn in shreds  
And all they can do now is cry"

The Get Backers stared at the gnome as it continued to strum its banjo, their mouths agape.

After a long while, Ban, who was right in front of the gnome, finally glared in annoyance. "We are certainly NOT going to cry," he said, referring to the last line of the gnome's song.

Ginji looked at his partner, then at the gnome, who just kept on strumming as it looked back at Ban. The blond then cleared his throat. "Hello, there."

The gnome turned its head to look at him.

Cautiously, Ginji got up, ignoring the aches in his body as he walked slowly towards the mushroom where the creature was on, then sat back down next to Ban with his legs crossed. Hoping that he didn't seem threatening now that he was at eye level with the gnome, he said, "I'm Amano Ginji, and this is my partner Mido Ban. What's your name?"

The gnome kept on strumming its banjo, but said nothing. Ban flicked his blue eyes over to his partner, unsure if being friendly with a strange creature was a good route to take.

Unfazed by the gnome's disinclination to respond, Ginji continued, "Can you tell us what this place is? My partner and I have been brought here somehow."

The sound of the quick little notes of the banjo strings was the gnome's response.

Ban sighed in frustration. "This is a waste of time, Ginji. Let's just go. I'm sure we'll find our way back one way or the other." He started to get up, but moaned as his body, which had been jolted around the mining cart quite a bit, protested with pain. "Damn."

"Are you okay, Ban-chan?" Ginji asked, his brown eyes showing concern.

"I'm fine, just a little sore." Ban groaned again as he sat up. "I'm surprised that we're still intact after all that."

"Yeah." The blond then smiled wryly. "That was some ride, huh?"

The banjo continued to play, and Ginji turned his head to look back at the gnome, who seemed to be content with just watching them. He then looked around at the trees that surrounded the bed of ferns that they were on. The trees looked very much like any other tree, except for the small spherical fruits that were attached to their trunks and branches (1). Ginji looked more closely at the fruits, curious as to what they were, then gasped softly. The spherical things attached to the trees looked like eyeballs.

"These trees are weird," Ginji muttered as he stared back at the eyeball-like fruits.

"Forget the trees. You wanna talk about what's weird?" Ban asked, who had kept his wary eyes on the gnome. "There's a _gnome_ playing a _banjo_ right in front of us."

"Well," Ginji said, his gaze landing back on the creature. "He doesn't just play the banjo. He sings, too."

Ban rolled his eyes. "Which would've been more tolerable if that actually helps us."

"Ban-chan!" Ginji whispered as he gave his partner an admonishing look. It was probably not a good idea to insult a gnome's musicality. "He can hear you."

"And that matters because...?"

Ginji was starting to get frustrated with his partner now, and his unibrow furrowed even more. "Because...," he said with a sigh. "We have no idea where we are, and we need all the help that we can get."

"Lost!" The gnome suddenly cried out.

Ginji's eyes lit up as he turned back to the creature. Hopeful that the gnome seemed to understand their situation now, he responded, "Yes! We're lost. Can you help us?"

"... and confused," the gnome continued, its strumming pattern changing now into something that sounded a little bit more aggressive. Apparently, those words were the beginning of a new song.

"Not the least bit amused  
Annoyed and frustrated  
Don't you just hate it  
When your whole body is bruised?"

The gnome continued its fast arpeggiated plucking while the Get Backers stared again.

Finally, with a glare on his mustachioed face and with his voice full of sarcasm, Ban told the gnome, "Yes! You're absolutely right! I do hate it! You know what else I hate? Your insufferable singi-"

Ginji's hand flew over Ban's mouth before the spiky-haired retriever could finish his sentence. "Eh-hehe." The blond chuckled nervously at the gnome, then said in one quick breath, "He-wasn't-just-about-to-say-something-totally-rude-no-he's-not."

The gnome wasn't done, though. The strumming pattern changed again, and with its eyes set on Ban, it sang:

"One of them is cranky  
His life must not be dandy  
What would make him smile?  
Perhaps a change in hair style?  
Or perhaps he would be happy with some candy."

"Alright! That's it!" Ban snapped, standing up to look down at the gnome. "I refuse to be mocked by a banjo-playing gnome!"

"Ban-chan! Calm down!"

"There is nothing wrong with my hair style!" Not listening to his partner, Ban bent down and thrust his index finger right at the gnome's face. "You, with that stupid medieval forest look, is hardly the epitome of style!"

The gnome just continued to strum as it looked back up at him calmly.

"Ohh-kayyy," Ginji said as he got up as well. He then grabbed his partner's arm and tried to drag him away. Looking back at the gnome apologetically, he said, "I'm really sorry about this, Mr. Gnome, but he's actually not that bad."

"Not that bad?" Ban repeated, transferring his glare from the gnome to his partner as he let himself get pulled away. "I'm more than 'not that bad'. I'm awesome! And why are you apologizing to him, anyway?"

In an attempt to placate his partner's anger, Ginji looked back at the gnome and repeated Ban's words. "Yes, he's awesome." He then said with a resigned sigh, "We're gonna go now, Mr. Gnome. We'll just find our way back somehow. I hope you don't take this against us."

"Take what against us?" Ban huffed to his partner as they walked away. "We didn't do anything wrong. He's the one who's being difficult here!"

The gnome watched them go, his fingers still softly plucking the strings of his banjo. They had already walked a few feet away when the rhythm of the banjo changed again, but this time into a lilting tune.

"What you need...," the gnome then sang.

Ban and Ginji stopped.

"... when you're out of place"

It seemed like the gnome was finally going to be helpful. The retrievers slowly turned to look back once again at the gnome as they listened more intently to this new song, which sounded... well, downright merry.

"Is a song, and a happy face."

Ban rolled his eyes. So much for being helpful.

"You just have to find the bubbles  
In the midst of all your troubles  
Soon you'll find that things fall back in place."

"Woh-oh-oh," the gnome sang as it strummed. It then smiled back at them as it repeated the song, but this time, with more energy:

"What you need, when you're out of place  
Is a song, and a happy face  
You just have to find the bubbles  
In the midst of all your troubles  
Soon you'll find that things fall back in place."

The retrievers stared again, but the gnome said nothing more, and just continued his rhythmic strumming as it smiled back at them.

"A song, a happy face, and... bubbles?" Ban mumbled incredulously. "Are you friggin' serious?" He glared again. "Look, gnome. I've been around long enough to know that it takes a little bit more than that for things to fall back in place."

"Let's go, Ban-chan," Ginji said, pulling Ban away before his partner gets on the gnome's nerves and things get out of hand. An angry gnome wasn't exactly something he wanted to see. "Thanks, Mr. Gnome. We'll be going now."

"A happy face," Ban grumbled to his partner as they walked away. "Can you believe that gnome? As if putting on a happy face is all it takes."

"Well, putting on a grumpy face isn't helping us, either," the blond muttered.

The grumpy face became even more grumpier as Ban gave his partner an irritated glare. "I'll put on a happy face if there's something to be happy about."

"We're both alive, and in one piece. Aren't you happy about that?"

"We're in the middle of Freakland, Ginji," Ban said exasperatedly. "And we have no idea how to get out. How can you be happy about that?"

"I just told you. We're both alive, and in one piece. Why aren't _you_ happy about that?"

Ban took a deep breath in an effort to control his frustration. "Yes, I'm happy about that, but I definitely can be happier once we get out of whatever it is we're in right now."

They walked on, deeper into the forest, and the sound of the banjo faded until it could no longer be heard. The leaves of the trees above fluttered gently in the breeze, letting the sunlight that filtered through create speckled shadows on the forest floor. The air was crisp and fresh, and under normal circumstances, this walk in the forest might be considered relaxing.

Unfortunately, this circumstance was far from normal.

Ban flitted his eyes at the trees, then told his partner, "You're right about one thing, though."

"What?"

"The trees _are_ weird."

Ginji turned his gaze once again at the trees surrounding them, whose eyeball-resembling fruits seemed to be staring at them as they walked by. "Yeah, they are," he said as he tried to keep his body from shuddering from the creepiness. He then shifted his focus back to Ban. "So, where are we going now, Ban-chan?"

"I have no idea," Ban, who was also trying not to look at the fruits, said as he walked. "But this is far better than staying put and being creeped out by these eyeballs."

The blond nodded in agreement.

The two retrievers continued to walk, crackling some twigs softly underneath their feet. Ban, who was in the lead, had just stepped over a fallen tree trunk when he suddenly froze. Ginji, who was looking down at the forest floor behind Ban, stopped as well. The blond looked up, and that was when he saw what Ban was now staring at.

"Bubbles?" Ginji said softly, his unibrow furrowing as he watched a trail of what looked like soap bubbles float gently up to the tree canopy. The sunlight refracted on their surfaces, giving the spheres a playful rainbow-colored shimmer. His brown eyes watched curiously as the bubbles glided into the trees, popping gently as they made contact. "Bubbles," he repeated. He then turned to his partner as he just realized something. "Ban-chan, do you remember the gnome's last song?"

Ban turned his blue eyes from the bubbles to stare back at the blond. Finally, he said, "You just have to find the bubbles, in the midst of all your troubles..." He snickered in spite of himself as he turned to look back at the iridiscent spheres. "You think that gnome was trying to tell us something?"

Ginji shrugged. "Well, he did say to find the bubbles." He looked back at the floating spheres then smiled. "So he _was_ trying to help us."

Ban snorted. "Or he could be pointing us to a trap."

"Ban-chan," the blond said, amused at his partner's cynicism. "You need to trust people more."

"And you need to trust people less," Ban retorted. "And by the way, that singing thing is not 'people', which, in my opinion, is an excellent cause for suspicion."

Ginji just chuckled. Experience had taught him that no amount of arguing in the world would change his partner's mind in matters like this. "Well, we did find the bubbles," he said instead. "What do you think we should do now?"

Ban looked back at the bubbles. Right now, this was the only clue that they had. Clue to what, he didn't exactly know, but it was definitely better than nothing. He sighed resignedly, then walked forward towards the spot where the bubbles seemed to be coming from.

The two retrievers followed the bubble trail, stepping over fallen logs and bending down beneath low overhanging branches. The trail led them up some rocks, which were covered in dew-laden moss that made the rocks a little bit tricky to climb. They carefully clambered up, cautious with every step to make sure that their feet didn't slip from the moss. Soon, they reached the top, where they heaved themselves up. It was then that they were greeted by - for lack of a better word - a yellow smiley face.

It was a bright yellow round thing which had black markings on it - a black downward arc below two black dots, which made it look very much like the popular yellow smiley emoticon. The round thing expanded slightly, contracted, then repeated these movements rhythmically.

The thing was actually breathing.

The Get Backers looked more closely, and was surprised to see transparent limbs attached to the 'smiley face', four at each side. They realized too, that the smiley face wasn't even the creature's head, which was black and was at the bottom of the 'face'. The creature was hanging upside down on a huge silky web that spanned about six feet and was spread out between two tree trunks. Yes, the 'smiley face' was actually the body of a spider, whose full length was almost as long as a human torso. (2)

The spider's black beady eyes - all eight of them - turned to the newcomers. One of its right limbs - the one closest to its head - seemed to function like a hand as it encircled around a slender stone pipe. The spider didn't seem to be bothered by the appearance of the retrievers as it brought the pipe closer to its jaws - which were massive - then blew gently. Soon, bubbles wafted up from the other end of the pipe.

Ginji watched the bubbles float up to the trees before turning his brown eyes back to the markings on the spider's back. His eyes then widened as he looked back at his partner.

Ban took one glance at Ginji and already knew what the blond was thinking. "A happy face," he said, remembering the words to the gnome's last song.

* * *

A/N: I think I got a little carried away with the silly songs there (that would be me experimenting on rhymes). Just a little bit more and this fic might have a soundtrack that would infect you all with annoying ear worms. I can see it now - "Get Backers: The Banjo Soundtrack". Oh, dear gracious, no...

Sorry for the late update. I've been busy the past few weeks with work and visiting family members. Now that I'm back to my normal routine, I hope to update faster.

(1) These trees are based on the Jabuticaba tree, also known as the Brazilian Grape Tree, which is native to Brazil. What's remarkable about this tree is that it bears its fruits directly on the main trunks and branches of the plant. If you look at pics of this tree with its fruits, try to imagine the fruits looking like eyeballs, and I think you'll understand why Ban and Ginji finds this creepy :)

(2) This new character is based on the happy face spider (yes, there is such a thing!), which is found only in Hawaii. I'm not a fan of spiders, but this one actually makes me smile. Its color is translucent yellow, with markings on its back that sometimes resemble a happy face. But of course, the one in this fic is the cartoon version hehe :)

Atropos' Knife:

Aaahh yes... the plot. I'll get to that soon. As hard to believe as it is, this fic actually does have one :) And yes, the previous chapter had Disney ride elements. I'm glad you caught that :D

vedha:

Yeah, this is turning out to be a parody of Alice In Wonderland. The spider that was blowing bubbles is my version of the caterpillar with the hookah hehe :) As for your questions on the Chibi Ink Face Challenge, yes, the unibrow and moustache is a MUST! :D Other than that, feel free to go crazy. Since the image that will be displayed is a small one, just make sure that we can see their faces :)

bokpricken:

Another brave soul willing to take on my challenge, I see :) Well, since I didn't think anyone would respond, I don't really have a deadline. But I think I have to at least give an approximate timeline, which I think should be before I post the next chapter. If nobody has submitted before then, then the deadline will be moved to before I post the next one, and the next, and the next... You get the idea hehehe :) Basically, it'll end as soon as I post the winning image.


	8. That Spidey Sense

Disclaimer: This chapter's disclaimer will be presented by... the singing gnome. Cue music!

_(Banjo strumming in the background)_  
"She doesn't own the great Get Backers  
She just owns a box of crackers  
Ayamine Rando and Aoki Yuya  
Are the ones who can say, 'Booyah!'  
This cool duo owns GB  
Not this crazy girl, y'see  
So please don't sue her, please be kind  
Just let her mess around with your mind  
Don't be so serious, let's have some fun  
Let's screw around with logic till this fic is done  
Might as well read it, it's here to stay  
So sit back, relax, as we all say, 'Yey!'"

Ummm... Thank you, Mr. Gnome. That was very... inspiring.

And now, without further ado, I present to you... Chapter Eight, That Spidey Tingle!

"Yey!"

That's enough, Mr. Gnome. (Why is his mic still on?)

* * *

**VIII. That Spidey Tingle**

The spider blew into its pipe, making more bubbles drift up into the sky. It continued to do so for a few more minutes, staring at the retrievers while the retrievers stared back. Finally, it spoke, its voice sounding like a sleepy old woman.

"Who are you?" The spider asked.

Still staring at the creature, the blond answered, "I'm Amano Ginji." Glad to finally be able to have a conversation with someone, he then smiled as he motioned to the other retriever. "And this is my partner Mido Ban. We're the Get Backers!"

"Get Backers," the spider repeated languidly as it blew more bubbles. "What a strange name."

Ban almost snorted. One would think that the Get Backers were the least strange here so far.

Feeling the need to elaborate, Ginji said, "We get back anything that was lost with an almost 100% success rate!" Not noticing Ban's frown on the word 'almost', the blond continued, "What's your name?"

The spider didn't respond right away, but just blew again, very slowly, into its pipe. Finally, it answered, "They call me Kinu (1)." It watched the bubbles float up towards the trees, then continued, "That's because -"

"You don't need to tell us the reason," Ban suddenly interrupted.

Kinu continued as if she didn't hear him. "- silk comes out of my bum."

Ban muttered, "We really didn't need to hear that."

The spider stared at him, then blinked sleepily before going back to blowing bubbles. "So you say you get back anything."

"Almost anything!" Ginji chirped, ignoring Ban's glare at the word 'almost'.

Kinu's eyes went past the retrievers as if she were in thought. "If so," she began. "Then perhaps you can get back the balance of magic in this land."

Ban frowned. "What do you mean?"

She blew again, then watched the bubbles waft playfully with the breeze. Ban tried to be patient as he waited for her to reply, but all she did was give a satisifed-sounding sigh. She then blinked slowly as if her eyes were growing heavy, and it was beginning to look like she had no intention of answering.

Ban repeated his question, but more loudly this time. "What do you mean?"

"Huh?" Kinu's eight eyes all flew open, startled. "What?"

"What do you mean by 'get back the balance of magic in this land'?" Ban, who was already getting pretty impatient, asked again.

"Oh," the spider said, still sounding a little sleepy. "The magic... Yes... It's... out of sorts lately."

Ban narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean by 'out of sorts'?"

Kinu looked back at him, then replied, "Something's going on. Something big." She blew again into her bubbling pipe. "I'm not sure what, but I know that it's not good."

"How do you know that it's not good when you don't even know what it is?"

"My senses are tingling."

Ban stared at her, her words reminding him of a certain comic book superhero. He muttered, "Spidey senses?"

"Huh?" Kinu asked.

"Nothing." Going back to the subject, Ban said, "You mentioned 'magic of this land'. What _is_ this land?"

"You don't know?"

"If I did, I wouldn't ask, would I?"

"I don't know. Would you?"

"No!" Ban replied in an irritated voice. "Why would I waste my time asking if I already know the answer?"

"I don't know. Why would you?"

Ban, who was very much annoyed now, took a deep breath. Forcing himself to be calm, he answered, "I wouldn't."

"Why not? I do it all the time."

The spiky-haired retriever gritted his teeth. It was really too bad that their only hope of getting any answers was this creature, who seemed to have come straight from the loony bin. Realizing that he would be better off starting the conversation anew since the current one was quickly going way off track, Ban asked instead, "We don't know what this land is, so can you please tell us?"

Kinu looked back at the retrievers for a long time. "This land..." She finally replied. "... is called... Alucinatidoowopteedu-Ha! Ha!"

The retrievers stared back at her as she blew once again into her pipe.

Ginji then frowned. "What?"

"Alucinatidoowopteedu-Ha! Ha!" The spider repeated.

With obvious doubt in his eyes, Ban asked incredulously, "That's the name of this place?"

"Yes." At the confused looks on the Get Backers' faces, she explained, "In the language of the Alucinati, it means 'Land of Unobstructed Dreams'." (2) Her eyes then became a little more curious. "Now why don't you know that?"

"We're not from around here," Ginji explained.

Ban continued to stare at Kinu, still very much hesitant on whether to take her seriously or not. It was a tough call, and that silly-looking face on her back wasn't helping, either. Deciding to just give her the benefit of the doubt, at least for now, he then asked, "What's the Alucinati?"

The spider had her eyes on them as if she was sizing them both up for the first time. Instead of answering Ban's question, she breathed out in amazement. "You're from the other side."

"Other side?" Ban's eyes lit up, hope tugging faintly at the seams of his pessimism. At long last, it finally looked like they would get something from the spider's ramblings that could actually help them get out of here. "Other side of what?"

Kinu looked up at the sky, seemingly lost in her own thoughts. After a long while, she muttered, "I knew something was going on."

"What's this 'other side'?" Ban, who was getting impatient again, asked. "And how do we get back there?"

She gazed back at them, her mouth opening up into a smile, which, coming from a giant spider, looked a little bit scary. "Why the rush, Get Backers? You just got here." With her old-ladylike chuckle, she added, "You, youngsters... Always rushing, never relishing." With one leg still holding on to her pipe, she then started to crawl down her web with her other legs. Unsure of what the spider was planning to do next, Ban and Ginji found themselves stepping back a bit, their bodies tense as they watched her long, almost invisible limbs move from one silky thread to the other.

Kinu stepped down to the forest floor, took another long look at them, then yawned, displaying her massive jaws to the retrievers. Ban frowned as her eyes then started to get heavy again, but before the retriever could say a word, the spider spoke again. "I was about to say something profound," she began as she blinked lazily. "...but I forgot what it was."

Good thing that the spider was huge. Otherwise, Ban would've squashed that smiley face already.

She stretched her transparent limbs, then said, "The Alucinati may have the answers that you seek." She then turned around and started to crawl away from them.

"Wait!" Ban called out after her.

She stopped and looked back at the dark-haired retriever.

"What's the Alucinati?" Ban asked again.

"They're fairies," Kinu answered with that sleepy look still in her eyes. "They're the Guardians of Alucinatidoowopteedu-Ha! Ha!"

Ginji then asked, "How do we find them?"

She chuckled softly, then answered, "You don't find them, dear." She smiled again. "They find you." She was about to crawl again when she stopped. "Just remember," she said as she turned to them. "Wherever you go..." The next words were then said with an insightful-sounding drawl. "There... you... are..."

With those words as her parting adage, she then crawled away, blowing bubbles as she went. The Get Backers stared blankly, watching the retreating form of that bright smiley face on Kinu's back until the spider was no longer in sight. They had been standing there long after she was gone when Ginji broke the silence.

"What did she mean by that, Ban-chan?" The blond asked, frowning at the spider's head-scratching last words.

"I have no idea," Ban answered, frowning himself. He still couldn't decide whether the spider was wise, or just plain old cuckoo. "I was gonna say that she must be smoking something funny, but..." His voice trailed off as he shrugged. Moving his gaze over to the giant spider web that Kinu left behind, he then muttered, "Must be those bubbles."

Ginji turned to stare at the web as well as he thought about what the spider had told them. "She said something about fairies."

Ban, whose blue eyes were fascinatedly studying the intricate pattern of the silky threads that intertwined against each other, then sighed. "Yeah. This just keeps getting weirder and wierder." He frowned, then mumbled to himself, "Or should I say, 'curiouser and curiouser'?" (3) He was just about to touch one of the threads, but thought better of it when he remembered where the threads had came from.

"We might as well try to find them, right Ban-chan?"

"Sure, except that we can't find them." The spiky-haired retriever then mimicked Kinu's sage-like tone. "They find us." He shook his head with a roll of his eyes, then sighed heavily. "Not that I wanna start a forest fire, but hell, I need a smoke."

He took a cigarette - the last one, to his dismay - from the pack in his pocket. He proceeded to light the stick, which was somewhat squashed from his being jerked wildly around a while ago, and inhaled his first drag. He then felt himself calm down a bit.

"Should we stay here, then?" Ginji asked. "And just let them find us?"

Ban exhaled, then watched the smoke from his cigarette trail up to the sky as he thought about their next course of action. He took another look at the spider web before turning to his partner. "I'd rather keep on moving."

The blond acknowledged with a nod. "Okay."

Ban then walked in the direction where Kinu had disappeared to, and Ginji followed after him. The bubbles had long disappeared and the spider didn't leave any other trace behind, so Ban just decided to walk where his feet took him, which, needless to say, was not very systematic at all. Yes, he had no idea where he was going, but he felt better about that than the alternative, which was staying put and doing nothing.

As he puffed away on his cigarette, his mind started to piece together what little they knew of their situation. The 'Land of Unobstructed Dreams', Kinu had said. That was where they were. And then there were the fairies, the Alucinati, the guardians of this land which they called Alucinati-something-Ha! Ha!

He sighed. Maybe he was the one who was smoking something funny and that this was all just one half-cracked dream.

He looked down at the distorted cigarette in his hand, doubts starting to form in his mind on whether this particular joint was messing around with his sanity. He quickly dismissed the thought as the familiar smell of nicotine wafted up his nostrils. _Naaah_, he thought as he put the cigarette back to his lips. The absurdities had started even before he began smoking.

He then frowned. Now, that wasn't very comforting at all, was it?

Ban put his hands in his pockets and let his cigarette dangle in his mouth as he continued his musings. The spider mentioned something else - something about the magic being out of sorts. Now what did that mean and did the rabbits have something to do with it? Come to think of it, he remembered one of the rabbits calling Ginji the 'Fairy of Light' back in the rabbits' lab, and that seemed to terrify a lot of them.

His frown grew deeper. Curioser and curiouser, indeed.

His thoughts were then interrupted by the sensation of immediate danger. His instincts led him to lean back quickly, narrowly avoiding a whip that suddenly lashed out right in front of his face. The part of the cigarette that protruded from his lips broke off, and Ban was literally left with the short end of the stick. He watched in horror as the rest of his precious tobaco joint dropped to the ground, its light snuffed out by the lashing force.

Ginji watched his partner's blue eyes go from shock, to dismay, and then on to wrath. _Uh-oh..._

With the cigarette stub still in his mouth, the dark-haired retriever spoke, his voice quiet but full of pent-up tension. "That... was my last... cigarette..." He then looked up, his eyes narrowing into slits.

The whip lashed out again, but this time, Ban caught it with his right hand. He yanked the whip towards him, and the retrievers heard a small yelp as the force of the pull plucked out the whip wielder from the dense foliage of tall shrubs that were at Ban's left side. The attacker - who turned out to be very small, about the size of a chipmunk - flew through the air. Ban simply held his right hand up, letting the creature smack headlong into his palm.

He closed up his hand around the creature, catching it before it fell down to the ground. It groaned, obviously shaken by the blow. Turning his wrist so that his palm was now facing the sky, Ban cautiously unwrapped his fingers, and it was then that the retrievers were able to take a good look at what exactly was in Ban's hand.

Yes, the thing was the size of a chipmunk but had a toddler-like body, which was covered in an electric purple teletubby-like unitard. Unlike the Teletubbies, however, this one's head was uncovered. And instead of an antenna, its head was topped with electric purple hair that was spiked up like a troll doll.

"What the...?" Ban muttered in astonishment, letting what remained of his cigarette drop down to the ground as his mouth hung open.

The creature's eyes widened as it stared back at Ban. In panic, it was about to lash out with its purple-and-white plaited whip when Ban quickly clasped his hand around it once again.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," he warned as he held the creature with his deadly grip.

"Let me go!" The creature, whose voice was also reminiscent of a chipmunk, cried out.

"I don't think so," Ban said. "In fact, I should crush you right now for ruining my last cigarette."

Another chipmunk-sounding voice then barked out from behind the Get Backers. "Release him, vile beast!"

The retrievers both whirled around, but could not see where the voice had come from.

"I've been called lots of things," Ban muttered to his partner. "But 'vile beast' is a first."

Ginji gave him an amused smile. "I'm sure that'll be the last."

"Down here, vile beast!" The voice said again.

"You spoke too soon," Ban told Ginji before turning his attention to their challenger.

The Get Backers looked down, and right on the forest floor were three more chipmunk-sized creatures similar to the one that was in Ban's hand. These creatures, however, had unitards and corresponding troll-doll hair in three other colors - candy apple red, lime green, and sunflower yellow.

"Release him!" The red one, who was in the middle, repeated. "Or prepare to be vanquished!"

As if on cue, all three of them struck their own distinctive attack poses, which looked like a remarkable variation of that iconic Charlie's Angels pose.

The red one had stepped one foot back into a fencing en-garde position, unsheathing the fencing sword that was at his hip and pointing it up at Ban. The green one, which was at the left, had drawn his bow, aiming an arrow also at Ban. At the same time, the yellow one, which was at the right, had flung his nunchuks into the air, catching one of the ends underneath his arm as he held out his free hand in a typical Bruce Lee pose, complete with matching battle yell.

"Hee-yah!"

* * *

A/N: And so more zany characters join the fray...

The Teletubbies are owned by Ragdoll Productions, and the troll doll is owned by the Troll Company. But this oddball combination is not owned by anybody, as far as I know...

The next chapter might take me a while again, since I still don't have a lot of the details. I just have super general ideas right now. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this one!

(1) _Kinu_ is the Japanese word for "silk".

(2) _Alucinatiduwopteedu-Ha! Ha!_... As unbelievable as this is, this name actually came from three tenable sources:

~~(2.1) The first part came from a_lucinatio_, which is the Latin word for "wandering in mind", "idle dream", or "daydream". This is where we get the word "hallucination".

~~(2.2) The last part was inspired by a place called Saint-Louis-du-Ha! Ha!, a municipality of Quebec. Yes, that is the official name, exclamation marks and all. The Commission de Toponymie de Québec explains that in the olden days, _haha_ in French meant "unexpected obstacle or obstruction", which those canoeing pioneers had encountered while going down a certain river. Why the exclamation marks made it into the official name is beyond me, and can be catalogued under "Great Mysteries Of The World". Or maybe it could've been put there simply as a testimony to the French Canadians' sense of humour.

~~(2.3) _Duwopteedu _is a word from the extinct Eteocypriot language, which was used to negate the word that comes after. (4)

Put them all together, and you have Alucinatiduwopteedu-Ha! Ha!, the Land of Unobstructed Dreams.

(3) This famous phrase is my little tribute to Alice in Wonderland :)

(4) This one is completely made up. Okay, not completely. Eteocypriot is a real extinct language. I just don't know a single word of it. But _duwopteedu_ sounds nice, doesn't it?

vedha:  
I've read Alice in Wonderland years ago, and I'm appreciating Lewis Carroll's creativity more now that I'm older (I'm not THAT old!). Hey, thank you for sending me that rough draft of your submission to the Chibi Ink Face challenge. That was hilarious :D I'm looking forward to the final version ;)

Atropos' Knife:  
Well, I myself have said Ban-like things. Maybe that's why I understand his character so well :/ And yes, I'm very thankful for the Ginji in my life that helps straighten me out :D By the way, I did think of moving eyes for the grape tree, but I decided to spare you guys from the creepiness. Ain't I nice? :D And you're from Hawaii? Cool! Have you actually seen that spider? I've just seen pics of that thing, but man... That goofy-lookin' face is practically begging to be part of a humor fic.

Reduce-the-damage:  
It warms my heart to know that my weird imagination is appreciated :) Thank you so much!


	9. The Unwonted Danger of Smoking

Disclaimer: The Get Backers, the Teletubbies, and troll dolls, are among the things that I don't own.

* * *

**IX. The Unwonted Danger of Smoking**

The Get Backers stared down, still not quite sure whether to take this new threat seriously. The chipmunk-sized teletubby-troll-like creatures just looked up at them, meeting their gazes steadily as they held their battle poses on the forest floor. Needless to say, it was quite the staring contest.

Finally, Amano Ginji broke the silence and asked, "Are you the fairies?"

Instead of answering, the red one in the middle glared at the blond and asked back in its chipmunk-sounding voice, "Do we look like fairies to you?"

"Y'know," Mido Ban said in response. "If you asked us that a while ago when I was still sure of things, I would've easily said 'no'."

Red seemed a little confused by Ban's answer, but decided to just let that slide as there were more important matters at hand. "So what will it be, vile beast?" He asked. "Release our comrade now, or face the consequences!"

"Tch. Consequences," Ban repeated with a snort of derision. What sort of consequences could possibly come from chipmunk-slash-teletubbies?

Red was not amused at Ban's reaction. "It may have escaped your notice, but you..." he said with a threatening glare. "... are outnumbered."

"True." Ban conceded. "But it may have escaped _your _notice that you..." He then mimicked the creature's tone. "... are outsized."

"Size is not a reality," Red replied. "... but a construct of the mind that constructs the seeming reality of size."

Ban frowned. What was it with these creatures and their nonsensical sayings?

Taking the retriever's frown as a sign of defeat, Red demanded again, "Release our comrade now!"

Instead of complying, Ban said, "I say, you all lower your weapons." He held out his right fist, which was enclosed around the purple creature that was the cause of the dispute. "Or your 'comrade' - who attacked first, by the way - gets squeezed to a pulp." He then smiled smugly. "Since it's very obvious that you don't know who you're dealing with, let me enlighten you. I am the Invincible Mido Ban-sama! And right here...," he said while emphasizing his fist. "... is a grip that can exert up to 200 kilogra -..."

Before he was even able to finish his sentence, Red gave Green a little nod, which Green acknowledged by shooting an arrow that hit Ban squarely on a nerve point in his right hand, sending a sharp pain up his arm.

"Owwww!" The spiky-haired Get Backer yelped as he inadvertently released his grip on Purple. He clutched his pained hand with his left as he doubled over, grimacing.

"Ban-chan!" Ginji gasped.

Purple had already dropped down to the forest floor, rolling towards his comrades as he landed. He stood up beside Green on the left and held his purple-and-white whip handle over his shoulder in his own ready-to-strike pose.

Ban gave his partner a reassuring look to indicate that he was okay as he pulled out the small arrow that was lodged in his hand. He threw the arrow down to the ground, then glared threateningly at the creature in green. "Why, you little..."

Since all four creatures were already in position, Red then gave a Braveheart-worthy battle yell.

"And now, vile beast... You will suffer the wrath of our burning anger that rages with blazing fury!"

He tossed something rectangular in the air, then with quick slashing motions, sliced it up into four pieces with his fencing sword. He seemed to have done this many times before, as the four sliced pieces fell perfectly into each creature's mouth. They then chewed with vigor as they glared back at Ban.

_Ohhh-kayy_, Ban thought, confused as to what they were doing now. Since waiting to find out wasn't something that he felt like doing, he narrowed his eyes again and moved into action. He quickly stepped forward, bending down to grab the rightmost teletubby-troll, which happened to be Yellow.

Yellow demonstrated his great agility by leaping up, flipping in the air, then landing on Ban's forearm, but not without a loud Bruce Lee-sounding animalistic scream. He rapidly scuttled up the retriever's arm while the remaining three creatures spread out then proceeded to crawl up Ban's pant legs.

Ban crossed his left arm over his chest to grab Yellow, who was now on his right shoulder, but Yellow easily avoided his hand by jumping up and clinging onto one of Ban's hairspikes.

The creatures crawled swiftly all over Ban's body like little squirrels scampering up a tree, their little hands and feet giving him some tickling sensations that made his body spasm somewhat. He tried to get his hands on the creatures - any one of them - reaching over his chest, his head, his hips, his back, pretty much all over his body almost in a Macarena-like fashion, but the creatures had lightning-quick reflexes that enabled them to dodge, leap, and flip to escape his grip.

"Ginjiiiiii! Zap them!"

Ginji, who was watching the scene with an unsure expression on his face, snapped out of his stupor and hastily sent a small lightning streak, which ended up zapping his partner's midsection instead, making the spiky-haired retriever turn chibi.

"Yooowww! Zap THEM! Not ME!"

"I'm trying, Ban-chan! But they move so fast!" The blond tried to concentrate on the little creatures, but his next shot was another failed attempt that triggered another loud yowl from Ban. "I'm sorry, Ban-chan!"

Yellow then spit some kind of string into Ban's hair. The string was bubblegum pink, very elastic, and very familiar. It looked very much like the elastic pink straps that the rabbits used to bind him and his partner onto the stretchers back in the rabbits' lab, but just a little bit more slender. Yellow then leaped down in front of Ban's face.

"What in the world...?" Ban muttered as the pink string came within his vision.

_It's chewed gum._ Ginji realized.

With one end of the bubblegum string firmly anchored onto Ban's scalp and the rest still in his mouth, Yellow proceeded to do another series of somersaults as he rapelled down Ban's chest, stretching the gumstring as he did so. The other creatures, with their own pieces of bubblegum string secured onto other parts of Ban's body, did their own leaps and flips around Ban. Soon, there was a whirlwind of red, green, purple, and yellow - with Ban at the center of it all - as the creatures formed complicated knots and twists that soon entangled the dark-haired retriever.

Ban was not the type to go down without a fight, and fight he did. "Aaaargh!" He groaned with frustration as he flailed his arms around, trying to catch the darn creatures, but the more he struggled, the more the creatures moved around, and the more complicated the knots became so that when the creatures came around his legs, Ban could not help but lose his balance. He finally fell down, hitting the forest floor hard with his cheek.

The creatures, who had already gotten off Ban before he fell, regrouped a few feet away with their faces bearing looks of triumph.

"The dragon has fallen!" Red yelled out, and his comrades cheered.

"Dragon?" Ban mumbled, his mind more confused than ever. "What dragon?" His blue eyes, which were now peering over the purple glasses that had slid down his nose, flicked over to his partner. The look on the blond's face expressed his own bafflement.

Ginji's brown eyes moved from staring at the tangled mess that was his partner to the creatures that were jumping up and giving each other high fives. He then gave them a glare, saying, "Ban-chan is not a dragon!"

The creatures stopped their celebration. They looked at the blond for a moment before turning back to each other.

"That lightning..." Red started to say.

"It came out of his fingers," Green said.

All four colorful heads turned, their eyes filled with awe as they landed on Ginji.

"You must be..." Yellow said.

Red finished the sentence with a gasp. "The Fairy of Light."

They said nothing more as all four pairs of eyes stared at him in amazement, making the blond feel a little self-conscious.

"Ummm...," Ginji said. "I don't know about this 'Fairy of Light' thing, but I'm gonna go free Ban-chan." He then stepped toward his partner, who had turned back to his normal form and was now grimacing as his increased size made the strings wrap more tightly around him.

The creatures all gasped.

"Why would the Fairy of Light help the dragon?" Red asked in shock.

"I'm not the Fairy of Light and Ban-chan is not a dragon!" Ginji said in exasperation.

He knelt down beside Ban, who was still lying on his stomach as he watched the exchange. The blond was just about to pull on the bubblegum strings that held his partner when he heard the high-pitched metallic sound of an unsheathing sword. He turned his head towards the creatures and found them to be back in their respective battle stances, their eyes now narrowed at him.

"Our fight is not with you," Red then said. "But we will not hesitate to fight you if you get involved."

"I'm already involved," Ginji responded, his brown eyes meeting Red's gaze with his own glare. "This is my partner that you just tied up."

"I'm warning you," Red said. "Step away from the dragon, or you will share in his fate!"

Ban couldn't take the nonsense any longer. "Alright, that's it! I've had enough claptrap for today!" He then looked straight into the eyes of the creatures. "Look at me, you freaks!"

When being given instructions like that, it would probably be best not to obey. Nevertheless, the four creatures looked, and no sooner had they done that than they found themselves trapped in the Jagan Master's illusion.

As soon as their eyes glazed over, Ban turned to his partner and said, "Quick! Help me get free!"

Ginji hurriedly stepped into action. He had just started pulling on the bubblegum strings when he noticed that the sky seemed to have gone darker.

Ban noticed it, too. Both retrievers looked up and saw that the sun was now covered by dark clouds that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. Even the sound of chirping birds in the forest had stopped, heightening the uncomfortable ominous feeling that now filled the air.

Frowning, Ginji turned his attention back to the gumstrings. Finding them to be too entangled, he looked around, his brown eyes landing on the four creatures that seemed to be frozen as they witnessed whatever dream Ban had conjured up for them. Spotting the fencing sword that was in Red's hand, he reached over and pulled it off the creature's grip, then proceeded to use the small weapon to slash the straps that were encircled around his partner, who was still staring up at the dark sky.

Even though the sword was small - he could only hold it with his thumb and index finger - it was sharp, and Ginji soon was able to cut most of the straps to free his partner. Ban then turned his focus from the sky to shaking himself free from the gum, wrinkling his face in disgust at having to touch the chewed things.

And as if things weren't bad enough, some of the gum unfortunately remained stuck to his hair.

They had about fifteen seconds more before the Jagan expired, so the Get Backers used the remaining time to hurriedly gather the other miniature weapons into a pile away from the creatures. They then used the gum strings, disgusting or not, to quickly tie the four up with their backs against each other.

The minute was up, and as soon as it did, the dark clouds disappeared just as quickly as they materialized, making the skies clear once again. In the distance, the chirping sounds of birds also slowly returned, and soon, it seemed like everything was back to normal - or at least, whatever 'normal' was in this world.

"That was weird," Ban muttered as he looked at Ginji, who looked back at him with the same confused wonder.

The creatures now had their eyes wide, unaware of the bizarre sky show but freaked out nonetheless at what they did see.

"I think... I just had a dream," Red said, his breath heavy. "I dreamed that we were in some kind of..." His chipmunk-sounding voice then started to tremble as he said his next words. "... children's television show."

The other three gasped, their eyes filled with fear and awe.

"I did, too!"

"Yeah, me too!"

"And I had no hair!" Green said, distress evident in his own chipmunk voice. "Instead of hair, I had..." His voice trailed off as if the memory haunted him. "I had a dipstick on my head!"

"And I had a triangle on my head!" Purple wailed as well.

"I don't even know what was on my head!" Yellow lamented.

"And you know what the worst part is?" Red asked with a woeful look in his eyes.

"What?" The three asked back.

"We were..." Red gulped, then continued, his voice now a whisper as if what he was going to say was an abomination. "... dancing..." (1)

All four of them shuddered as they cried out, "It was HORRIBLE!"

Only when they were done shuddering did they realize that they were now all tied up. Their eyes went wide again with surprise as they landed on the retrievers.

"Sounds like a nice dream," Ban said nonchalantly.

"You..." Red breathed out, his mouth open in amazement. "You did this."

A smug smile appeared on the retriever's features. "Magnificently, and with flair, too, don't you think?"

The four creatures looked at each other, their eyes once again filling with fear as they talked among themselves.

"The dragon gave us a dream."

"But I thought he only steals dreams."

"Either way, we're in trouble."

"Deep trouble."

Ban, who was listening to them fret, interrupted, "Okay, hold it right there!" He hung his head down for a moment and rubbed his temples with his fingers. All this dragon ballyhoo was giving him a headache. He probably shouldn't even ask, but... if he and Ginji were to get out of this place, he had to at least try to make sense of things. He sighed, then looked back at the creatures. He was probably going to regret this. "What _is_ this about a dragon?"

The creatures stared at him, then, instead of answering his question, looked at each other once again.

"The dragon doesn't know that he's a dragon."

"He's confused."

"That could be to our advantage."

"But we're still in trouble."

"Deep trouble."

Ban sighed again in frustration. He turned to look at his partner, who just shrugged helplessly back at him. Yep, he totally regretted asking.

"We can get out of this," Red was saying now.

"How? The dragon took our weapons."

"Not all of them."

_Really? I thought we got all of them_, Ban thought. The... uhhh.. things - _what are they, anyway?_ - seemed to not care that he could hear every word that they were saying - which was totally fine with him as he listened closely, intent on finding out what other hidden weapons those creatures might have.

Red then said, "We still have our courage."

_Oh, brother_, Ban thought as he rolled his eyes.

Red continued. "Courage is like the coldest of doubt-killing weapons that could coldly kill all doubts. What fights the fight is not the fighting weapons of war, but the fighting heart of the fighter."

_Wow,_ Ban thought with a raised eyebrow. He didn't know redundancy could be so encouraging and annoying at the same time.

"And we are courageous fighters who fight with fighting hearts of courage! Like those brave sea-faring sailors that bravely sail the seas, we are -"

"Enough with the pep talk already! Geeeez!" Ban interrupted with exasperation. "Can you please just shut up for a second?"

Thankfully, Red complied, but not without shooting the retriever another glare.

"I ask again," Ban said, his voice sounding more firm. "What is all this about a dragon?"

The creatures looked back at him, but said nothing.

With his patience wearing thin, Ban picked up Red's fencing sword from among the pile of miniature weapons on the ground, then leaned down, looming over Red - whom he presumed was the leader - and pointed the sword's tip at Red's chest. "Answer the question," he ordered.

Red just looked back at him defiantly.

Ban narrowed his eyes, then moved the tip of the sword from Red's chest and pointed it towards Yellow's throat. "Maybe this would be better motivation."

Red glared again, and there was silence for a moment as uncertainty filled the faces of the other three creatures.

"There is a legend..." Purple then started to speak, earning him glares from his comrades. "... about a magical fire-breathing dragon whose name is..." He then looked directly into Ban's eyes as he formed the dragon's name with his lips. "... Puff."

Ban stared, which he had been doing a lot lately since he came here. Everything in this world seemed to be so ludicrous that really, he should learn by now and just stop being so shocked. He snorted, then said, "Let me guess. Puff, the magic dragon, lives by the sea, frolicking in the autumn mist in a land called Honalee." (2)

"Well..." Green said. "You're half-right."

"We don't know where he lives," Purple added. "But you're right. Puff could be living by the sea."

"The legend does say that he frolics in the mist," Red said with a thoughtful expression on his face.

"But where's Honalee?" Yellow asked.

"He just said that it's by the sea," Purple answered him.

_Aaargh._ Ban groaned internally. Having his sarcasm backfire on him did not help his frustration at all.

"How do you know about the legend, Ban-chan?"

And his partner just made it worse.

"He's the dragon, that's why!" Red said. "He's gonna kill us all before he goes back to frolicking in the mist!"

To Ginji, Ban said curtly, "It's not a legend. It's a song, idiot." And to the creatures, he said, "For the last time, I am NOT the dragon! My name's NOT Puff! I'm NOT gonna kill you!" The next words were then said with gritted teeth. "And I... Do NOT... Frolic... In the mist!"

"Ban-chan, what does 'frolic' mean?

Before Ban could say anything, Red answered, "It means 'to play merrily'."

Ginji seemed to be in thought for a minute, then said matter-of-factly, "Yeah, I've never seen Ban-chan frolic in the mist."

Ban was shaking his head again at the direction that the conversation was going.

"But..." Red said, his suspicion starting to waver, but still not completely gone. "You were breathing out fire."

"What?" Ban asked, totally confused by the statement. "I do not breathe out fire." What in the world could possibly make them think that? But at least they had all established that he, the Invincible Mido Ban-sama, was not a mist frolicker.

"When I first attacked," Purple said. "Smoke was coming out of your mouth."

Ban stared at Purple for a second before he burst out laughing, which made the creatures look at each other in puzzlement. Ginji stared as well at his laughing partner and wondered if this was some kind of after-effect from those rabbit darts.

"I was just smoking, you little runts!" Ban was shaking his head now, muttering as he sighed, "All this because of a damn cigarette."

"Oh," Ginji said, a look of understanding crossing his features. "That's why they think you breathe out fire."

Ban groaned to himself. "This is really giving me a headache."

With that confused expression still on their faces, the creatures watched the spiky-haired retriever rub his temples with his fingers again.

"He doesn't breathe out fire," the blond tried to explain to them. "That was just a cigarette in his mouth."

The creatures gave him blank looks. Green then asked, "A what?"

"A cigarette," Ginji repeated. He then tried to explain. "It's uhhh... a stick. You light one end and try to suck it out from the other end."

"Is it some kind of game?" Yellow asked. What was formerly confusion in his eyes was now replaced by curiosity.

"Yes!" Ban chimed in before Ginji could respond. "I was just playing around! This is all just a misunderstanding, y'see?" Not really in the mood for another senseless conversation, he said, "Now tell us more about the legend of the dragon and the Fairy of Light."

Yellow, Green, and Purple all turned to Red.

_Yeah, he's the leader, alright_, Ban thought.

Red seemed to think about it for a moment. "We will tell you," he began to say. He then looked Ban straight in the eye. "But you have to unbind us first."

Ban looked back at Red, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.

* * *

A/N:Should the creatures be trusted? Stay tuned to find out!

Who knew that the possibility of being attacked by miniature teletubbies is one of the undisclosed dangers of smoking? Ban certainly didn't. Until now.

If you've noticed, the image for this fic is now replaced by the chibi ink-faced Get Backers. A big thank you to vedha for creating it! :D I just did a little resizing work so that this site won't crop it. Yep, our favorite retrievers still do look like that at this point in the story. I'm currently debating on whether to let them have this look until the very end. We'll see...

(1) If you want to get an idea of what kind of dream Ban gave them, watch the Teletubbies Intro on YouTube. If that isn't whacked enough, instead of the original Teletubbies Intro song, try watching it with the Inception soundtrack. You can search that on YouTube, as well. It's bizarrely amazing how the music somehow fit perfectly. Whoever came up with that is a genius. I mean.. Inception, of all things... How appropriate is that? Especially for this fic :) I must warn you, though. Those images with the music stayed in my mind for quite a long time :) Yeah, I still have dancing teletubbies in my mind right now. As in, right now. (Somebody, make them stop!)

(2) "Puff, The Magic Dragon" is a song popularized by the US folk trio Peter, Paul, and Mary.

Atropos' Knife:

Yes, "Alucinatiduwopteedu-Ha! Ha!" is a mouthful. Even I have trouble saying it at first, so bravo for managing to say it fast five times! Btw, I used up all my name-giving energy into that one, so I really have no idea what to call these creatures. I like the sound of "Trollietubbies", so if you don't mind, I will use that term from now on ;) And yes, I saw the pic of that ear-loving spider, and it's creeeeepy. Also, I'm sorry, but I can't promise you that Kinu will no longer make an appearance hehe :) It's just that I'm still figuring out the details as I move along, so she may or may not be back. But don't worry, she's a nice spider, just a little spacey :D

vedha:

The name of the place was designed to confound everyone, even native English speakers :D Yeah, I made it difficult to pronounce, but certainly doable. So where did I come up with that? Well... I was gonna name it something simple, but in my random internet wanderings, I came across this article about a lake in the US called Lake Chargoggagoggmanchaugagoggch aubunagungamaug. No, that's not me falling asleep on the keyboard. That's the actual name (And it's one word. For some reason, this site is breaking it up into two words). After reading about that, alas! The name that I had in mind sounded so boring and unsatisfying, so I went on a little quest for weird names, and in the process found Saint Louis-du Ha! Ha!, which provided just the mirth that I was looking for. Can you imagine having that on your business card? ("No, really. That's our office address...")

And yes! Watching the Teletubbies after reading this is recommended for maximum hilarity. Just remember the warning in Note #1 above :D


	10. Losing Marbles

Disclaimer: Due to recent reports of near-damage to electronic devices, eating and/or drinking while reading this fic is not recommended. Any damage that may result due to ignoring this warning is not the responsibility of the author. Reader discretion is advised.

Oh yeah, and I still don't own GB.

A/N: I would've animated this chapter if I could. But since I couldn't, and words on paper (or computer/tablet/smartphone/whatever screen) can only do so much, then this chapter requires some imagination, as some parts can only be as funny as the pictures in your mind.

* * *

**X. Losing Marbles**

Mido Ban narrowed his eyes as he looked down at the red chipmunk-sized creature, who met his gaze unflinchingly. "How do we know that you're not gonna attack again once you're free?" He asked.

Without missing a beat, the red teletubby-troll-like creature answered, "You can take our weapons," making the other three creatures gasp. "It's just for a little while," he told them, trying to ease their nerves.

The dark-haired retriever continued to give him a suspicious look. "Are these all the weapons that you have?" Remembering Red's earlier speech, he added, "Aside from 'courage' or whatever other abstract bullcrap that you can come up with?"

Red glared at the insult to his motivational speech, but nodded, anyway.

"Alright," Ban said as he motioned to the pile of miniature weapons. "Put those in your vest pockets for now," he told his partner, who nodded in acknowledgment.

Amano Ginji knelt down and started picking up the weapons. Now that they weren't rushing, the blond held each miniature weapon up to his face before stashing it into the pockets of his army green vest. "This is so cute," he gushed as he held up the mini-nunchuks.

"Be careful with that!" Yellow called out.

"Don't worry. They'll be safe here," Ginji said, patting his top left vest pocket where he slid the weapon in.

With Red's fencing sword still in his hand, Ban then moved towards the tied up creatures, bent down, and pointed the edge of the sword at the gumstrings. "Remember," he said, his blue eyes boring right into Red's. "No funny business."

Red looked directly into those piercing eyes, then said, "You have my word. And that is as rock solid as a piece of solid rock."

With a slight frown on his face, Ban decided to ignore the redundancy and just proceed with slicing the gumstrings with the sword. Red watched the strings fall down to his feet, then looked up at Ban's expectant face.

"Time to keep your end of the bargain," the retriever said.

Red nodded. "Of course."

He waited until his comrades were completely free of the strings. Once Purple, Green, and Yellow had all settled down, the three little creatures stood up straight, taking up positions at Red's left. Red then cleared his throat and took a deep breath.

"There once was a dragon," Red began, his high-pitched voice sounding loud and clear like a chipmunky orator. "... whose name was Puff."

To Ban's surprise, Purple suddenly stepped forward and held up his hands, curling his fingers forward like claws as he contorted his face in what appeared to be an attempt to look scary.

Red continued, "With claws like daggers and scales that were tough."

Purple then rounded his lips and made elaborate blowing movements, moving his tiny head from side to side in perfect timing to Red's words.

"With flames from his mouth that burns with each huff  
He stole all our dreams, he couldn't get enough."

Ban furrowed his brows, staring as Purple faithfully conveyed Red's story with a pantomime. This time, the little purple creature skipped around, huffing his chest as he did so.

"He frolicked in the mist as he grew in might."

Green then stepped forward, dropping down melodramatically to the floor with an exaggeratedly frightened look in his eyes.

"The magic had tipped, filling the land with fright."

With a troubled expression on his face, Green then held his palms up towards the heavens as if he was asking a question.

"Who could stop him? Who would put up a fight?"

As the last character in their little pantomime show, Yellow then stepped forward with his hands on his hips in a typical Superman pose.

"'Tis I," was the answer of the Fairy of Light."

Yellow held his fingers up, then started wriggling them frantically as he pointed their tips towards Purple.

"With light from his fingers, across the land it shone  
It hit the great dragon, right down to his bone."

With timing synchronized exactly with the words of Red's poem, Purple pretended to be hit by throwing his head back before falling down to the ground.

"Down the mighty dragon fell with a loud groan  
'Twas the greatest battle this land had ever known."

Purple then opened his eyes and mouth wide, as if in an intensely horrified shock. Ban didn't think it was even possible for Red's high-pitched chipmunky voice to get even higher, but he was definitely mistaken.

"The dragon was vanquished, he screamed with a 'Gaaaah!'"

Red had actually screamed, prolonging that last interjection which made the two retrievers wince at the assault to their ears. Thankfully, that didn't last too long and Red's voice went back to its normal - relatively, anyway - pitch, while Yellow waved back at Purple with a smirk on his lips.

"As the Fairy of Light had bid him 'Tata!'"

Green now stood up, his overly terrified facial expression replaced with a wide smile as he linked arms with Yellow. Purple, who was no longer pretending to be the dragon, stood up as well, linking arms with Green. Red joined in, pulling up some leaves from the patch of grass that happened to be nearby. Together, all four creatures now hopped around happily as Red threw the leaves of grass in the air like confetti.

"The whole land celebrated with songs of chacha  
'Coz now there was peace in Alucinatiduwopteedu-Ha! Ha!"

With the poem now over, the four creatures all lined up, then bent forward in a group bow. Ban continued to stare in stunned silence as the confetti-leaves fell back down to the ground. It wasn't long before his bewilderment was broken by the sound of clapping. He turned his head to the sound, and found his partner in chibi form resoundingly expressing his approval at the spontaneous pantomime show with a big grin on his face.

The chibi blond stopped clapping as he felt his partner's glare. He stared back at Ban, blinking innocently as he asked, "What?"

Instead of answering, Ban groaned softly and mumbled, "This is _not_ happening."

"And that is the story of the magical dragon," Red said as all four creatures looked up at Ban.

_Nope, this can't be happening_, he told himself. The most logical explanation to all this was that he was dreaming. Yes, this was all just one big, bad nightmare. He closed his eyes as he pinched himself on the arm, hoping against all hope that he would finally wake up. Being the recipient of a pinch from a hand that was capable of 200 kilograms of force was not the most pleasant thing, but he felt a certain satisfaction as a sharp pain shot up his arm. That, he thought as he slowly opened his eyes, should have enough punch to wake him up, and those freakish creatures would finally be gone.

Not.

The creatures were still there. And they were still looking up at him. Dammit.

"So lemme get this straight," he finally said with a resigned sigh. Since the madness didn't give any hint of ending anytime soon, the only thing he could do right now was to just play along. Hopefully, he surmised, this path would lead him to something more substantially helpful along the way. "There was a dragon who stole all your dreams, causing some kind of imbalance in magic. And the one who defeated him was the Fairy of Light."

All four creatures replied with a resounding "Yes!"

Ban muttered, "You could've just said that."

Red was now watching Ban closely. "Now if you're not the dragon," he then said, motioning to Ban. "And you're not the Fairy of Light," he added, turning to Ginji. "Then who are you?"

"I was just telling you who I was when I was rudely interrupted," Ban said, looking pointedly at Green, who had shot an arrow at Ban's hand while the retriever was introducing himself the first time around. Green responded to Ban's glare by looking away with a bit of sheepishness in his eyes. "I am the Invincible Mido Ban-sama!"

"And I'm Amano Ginji!" Ginji, who had turned back into his normal form, piped up. "We're the Get Backers!"

Red looked curiously back at Ginji. "Get Backers?"

"That's a weird name," Yellow commented.

"And that's a bit rich, coming from you," Ban muttered, making the yellow troll-haired teletubby-like creature frown in confusion. Before any of the creatures could say anything else, he said, "Okay, now that you know who we are, I think it's only fair that you introduce yourselves as well."

The creatures looked at each other, and all of them conveyed agreement.

Red was the first to answer. "My name's Rapier."

"I'm Gungdo," Green said.

"Popper," Purple said as he raised a hand to indicate himself.

All gazes then landed on Yellow. There was a brief pause as Yellow noticed that everyone was now looking at him.

"Oh," he said when he finally realized that it was his turn to introduce himself. "And my name's Wow." (1)

Ban furrowed his brows at the last name, but decided to just move on. "So if you're not fairies," he said. "Then what exactly are you?"

As expected, it was Rapier, the red one, who answered. "We're ..." He then opened his mouth wider, and the next thing they heard was a shrill sound that could best be described as tires screeching on the wet pavement after narrowly avoiding an angry chimpanzee. When he was done, Rapier closed his mouth and looked back at the retrievers.

"Ummm..." Ginji said, scratching his blond head as he thought about how to respond to that. "That's... uhhh... hard to pronounce."

"And you think our name is weird," Ban mumbled. "Say," he then said aloud. "Why don't we just call you trollietubbies?" (2)

"Trollietubbies," Rapier said slowly, as if feeling how each syllable rolled over his tongue. With a fascinated look in his eyes, he asked Ban, "What does that mean?"

"It means..." Ban paused, then continued, "Great warriors."

Rapier smiled. "I like the sound of that."

"Good," Ban said, chuckling to himself. The runt actually bought it.

"So what does the name 'Get Backers' mean?" Gungdo, the green creature, asked.

"We get back anything that was lost!" Ginji answered with a beaming smile.

Rapier seemed to ponder that for a moment, then asked, "What are you trying to get back now?"

"Well," the blond began as he looked back at his partner. "At first, it was just these missing Mickey Mouse items..."

"But right now," Ban interrupted. _Who cares about missing Mickey Mouse items when you're trapped in a psychedelic freak show?_ "We just wanna get out of this crazy world."

"Crazy?" Rapier repeated, obviously offended.

"What Ban-chan meant was," Ginji said in an effort to calm him down. Now that they had met creatures that they could actually converse with... well, he didn't want another fight if they could avoid it, especially if there was a chance that these creatures could help them out. "We're not from this world, so everything seems crazy to us."

Rapier asked, "What do you mean by that?"

"I'm not sure how it all happened," Ginji answered with a sigh. "But we started out in Disneyland. We were pretending to be Mickey and Minnie Mouse, and then Roger Rabbit came along and we followed him into a hole and we just... sort of... dropped down onto a marshmallow bed, and then they tied us up with gum, and then we ended up underground where they were mining these glowing balls, and then we got attacked by purple cats and more Roger Rabbits and we escaped by riding this mining cart that flew up to the sky and landed in the middle of this forest."

The trollietubbies stared at Ginji.

"That does sound crazy," Gungdo finally said. "I mean, how can you pretend to be a mouse? You're too big and you don't even have whiskers."

It was Ban's turn to stare. Of all the things that Ginji mentioned, the little creature found _that_ to be the crazy part.

Gungdo was looking now at Ban, particularly at the moustache that was drawn above his lips. "Well, that face fur could probably pass for whiskers, but -"

"It's a different kind of mouse, okay?" Ban interrupted, irritation creeping up again into his voice.

Gungdo frowned in confusion. "It has face fur above the lips?"

Ban felt like slapping himself on the forehead. "That's not the point," he said exasperatedly. Man, constant frustration could really take a toll on one's energy levels. At this rate, he'd be drained like a dried up river within five minutes if this went on. He really should calm down and just steer the conversation back into more productive matters, he thought as he took a deep breath. Once he felt that his blood pressure was back down to normal levels, he turned to them, and with the frustration in his voice now replaced by signs of despair, he said, "We just wanna go back to where we came from."

The trollietubbies all looked at each other as they thought about what the retrievers had just told them. Rapier gave each of his comrades a questioning look, and they all responded with small nods of acknowledgment. Rapier then looked back at the retrievers and smiled. "We will help you."

Ban stared in disbelief at the unexpected offer. "Really?" He asked doubtfully.

With determination in his chipmunk-sounding voice, Rapier said, "Yes, as certainly as a crocodile's white teeth are surely white! We are your dependable allies that you can depend on! Until you are safely home, we will unceasingly continue to be by your side 'til the very end without stopping!"

Ginji gave them a grateful smile. "Oh, thank you!" He then turned to his partner. "Did you hear that, Ban-chan? They're gonna help us get back home!"

Ban was less enthusiastic. Having to depend on totally freaky whatever-they-are's was not something that he was very much at ease with. Besides, there had to be a catch there somewhere. He looked directly into the red one's eyes. "And what do you want in return?"

"Well..." Rapier started to say.

Ban snorted internally. _I knew there was a catch._

"If we happen to cross paths with the dragon," Rapier continued. "We will be very much grateful for any assistance that you can give us."

Ban narrowed his eyes. "What kind of assistance?" He already had a pretty good idea what the answer was, but it didn't hurt to ask just to be sure.

"Assistance in capturing it," Rapier replied.

"Or better yet," Gungdo added. "In vanquishing it."

Just as he thought. It was in fighting that they needed 'assistance' with.

"This dragon that you're after," Ginji said with a thoughtful expression on his face. "... is the one in the legend, right?"

"Yes," Rapier answered.

"What makes you think that it even exists?" Ban asked them. "I mean, it's just a legend."

A troubled expression came over the trollietubbies' faces.

"There have been warning signs," Rapier began. "... that the magic in Alucinatiduwopteedu-Ha! Ha! is no longer in harmony."

"Warning signs?" Ban repeated, prompting him to elaborate.

"Enchanted marbles are declining considerably in great numbers," the red creature said.

And that statement just left Ban even more confused. "What?"

"Enchanted marbles are declining considerably in great numbers."

"I heard what you said," the dark-haired retriever, irritation creeping up into his voice again. He took another deep breath to calm himself down. "But I don't know what you mean."

"Don't you know what enchanted marbles are?" Gungdo asked.

Ban was about to say something sarcastic but decided to restrain himself. "No," he answered instead.

"They're seeds of magic," the green trollietubby explained. "They're the source of power in in this land."

"Without them, this land will cease to exist!" Rapier added, obviously agitated by the notion.

Ban furrowed his brows in thought. "And they're declining."

"Considerably in great numbers!" The red creature added.

This time, the sarcasm could not be restrained. "Yes, thank you," Ban told him. "For saying that three times, which was exactly what I needed."

"They usually thrive along the riverbanks," Popper, the purple one, said.

A thought then just struck Rapier. "Actually, we're not very far from the river. Let's just go there so you can see for yourself! Follow meeee!"

Rapier then scampered across the forest floor, his gait very much like a toddler but his speed very much like a chipmunk. The rest of the trollietubbies followed closely behind. Just as they were about to go around one of the bushes, they halted, finally noticing that the two retrievers hadn't moved an inch but were just staring back at them.

"What're you waiting for?" Rapier called out. "We don't have all day! C'mon!"

Ban and Ginji looked at each other.

"I don't see why not," Ginji said, shrugging.

Ban could think of several reasons why not, but none of them could convince him that staying behind was a better alternative. He turned his eyes towards Rapier, who was still beckoning them to follow him. "Fine," he finally said with a sigh. "With all that's happened so far, I don't see how this could possibly turn out worse." He slid Rapier's fencing sword into his shirt pocket and started to move his feet - very reluctantly - in the direction of the trollietubbies.

"That's right, Ban-chan," Ginji said with a smile as he walked beside his partner. "We found creatures that are helping us get back home. It could only get better from here."

Ban frowned. That wasn't exactly what he meant, but... he didn't see any reason to pop his partner's bubble. At least one of them was optimistic.

"To the river we shall gooooo!" Rapier said, his voice fading as he scurried away.

They walked on and pretty soon, the faint sound of flowing water reached their ears.

"Enchanted marbles used to flourish around here," Gungdo was saying now as he fell back from his group to walk beside the retrievers. "But nowadays, they are getting rarer and rarer."

Ban furrowed his brows as he tried to make sense of what the creatures had just told him. "So what you're saying is," he said. "You're losing your marbles."

Gungdo's green head turned up towards Ban as he said. "Yes!"

The dark-haired retriever looked down at the earnest expression on the little creature's face, then muttered, "I can certainly understand that."

They all started to move again when Ginji asked, "So you think that the dragon is stealing them?"

"Well," Gungdo said. "According to the legend, the dragon steals dreams, which is where magic comes from."

"We don't know for certain what the cause for the decline is," Rapier, who was still walking ahead of them, added. "But we're hoping we can find out once we capture the dragon."

"You don't even know what the dragon looks like," Ban, who had previously been mistaken for said dragon, snorted. "How are you planning to 'capture the dragon'?"

Rapier's eyes took on a troubled expression as he stopped in his tracks. "We don't know," he said, sighing. "The four of us just banded together on this quest to find the dragon." He then turned around, his eyes directly meeting Ban's. "But we have staunchly resolved with unwavering determination not to fail in accomplishing our mission successfully! The future of Alucinatiduwopteedu-Ha! Ha! is at stake!"

"And what does the Alucinati have to say about all this?" Ban asked.

Rapier seemed puzzled by the question. "What do you mean?"

"Do you know about the Alucinati?" Ban pressed.

"Of course," the red creature answered. "Everybody in this land knows about them."

"They're the guardians of this land, right?"

"Yes."

That sounded promising. If what Kinu, the happy-face spider, had said about the Alucinati possibly having the answers that they were looking for were true, then maybe the trollietubbies could help lead the Get Backers to these guardians. "Do you know how to find them?" Ban asked.

"No."

And that sounded disappointing.

"None of us here have even seen them with our own eyes," Rapier said as he turned back to head towards the river. "They are elusive beings. You can't find them. They find you."

Which were the exact same words that Kinu said to them before she crawled away. "So I've heard," Ban said with a sigh as he continued to follow the creatures.

"Why are you looking for them?" Wow, the yellow one, asked curiously.

Ginji answered, "They might be able to help us get back to our world."

"I'm sure they can," Popper said reassuringly.

Ban wasn't the type to be reassured that easily, though. "And how do you know that?"

Popper just shrugged. "I just know."

Ban's blue eyes narrowed. "How do you even know that the Alucinati really exist if you haven't even seen them? Maybe they're just another fairy tale."

"Of course, they are," Gungdo answered matter-of-factly. "They're fairies. What else would you call tales about them?"

Ban tried hard - very hard - to keep his frustration under control. _Calm down._ He took long, slow breaths as he commanded himself, making this inner voice sound like a tranquil yogi. _Save your energy. Chill. Relax. Keep cool._

"To answer your question," Rapier was saying. "I do certainly know for sure that they are real without a doubt. My brother's wife's sister's best friend's mom's neighbor's daughter's second cousin met one."

Ban and Ginji stared at the red creature, having lost him at about the third possessive noun.

"Fifi met one?" Wow suddenly exploded with amazement.

The retrievers now stared at Wow, also with amazement, but theirs was more due to the fact that the yellow creature somehow knew exactly who Rapier was talking about.

"Yes, she has!" Popper answered enthusiastically.

"Why didn't I know about that?" Wow asked.

"You weren't with us when she told us," Gungdo explained. "It was eye-berry season and you were out eye-berry picking."

"Oh, that's right!" Popper chimed in. "You shared this eye-berry smoothie with us the day after." He smiled at the memory. "That was a reeeally good smoothie."

"Yes it was, wasn't it?" Wow said, smiling back. "That was my aunt's massage therapist's recipe."

Ban cleared his throat loudly, interrupting their discussion, which made all four trollietubbies look at him with an expression on their faces that asked, 'What?'

"We were talking about the Alucinati," Ban reminded them.

"Yes," Rapier said. "And we just told you that you can't find them. There's not much we can do about that. Now about that smoothie..." He then turned back to Wow. "What did you do to make it that creamy?"

"Excuse me," Ban said a little more forcefully. "... for interrupting this fascinating discussion on creamy smoothies, but I have a very important question."

The trollietubbies stopped and looked at him.

Now that he had their full attention, the dark-haired retriever continued. "How did..." Ban paused as he thought about how to refer to Rapier's acquaintance. "Fifi..." He frowned again as he said the unusual name. "... meet the Alucinati?"

"She got lost in the forest," Rapier answered as he continued walking. "And an Alucinati showed her the way back to her village."

"Well," Ginji said. "We _are_ lost, too. Maybe the Alucinati would also show us the way."

Popper shrugged as he said, "Maybe, but that would be up to them."

"I hope they do. I would love to see a fairy," the blond retriever said with a smile. "What do they look like?"

"The one that Fifi saw was very beautiful," Gungdo said, smiling back.

"It had wings that shimmer in the sunlight," Popper added.

Wow said, "Some fairy tales say that they can glide through trees without making a sound."

"And some have wands that they use for their magic spells," Popper said.

"There's a wide variation in their appearances, though," Rapier said. "So they might look very different in a way that is not at all similar to each other."

The forest soon opened up, and right before them was the river. The Get Backers moved forward, stopping as they reached the grassy river bank. Ginji watched the clear waters flow peacefully along its winding course, rippling softly against the smooth stones that sometimes peeked out of the sparkling surface.

A gentle breeze blew, and Ginji took a deep breath of the fresh air as he took in the scenic sight. He was still gazing at the water when something at the edge of the river caught his attention. Curious, he walked towards it and knelt down. He picked up the strange object that had caught his attention and opened his palm up.

The object was a small glass-like orb, and inside the orb was a soft, wispy light that glowed against the retriever's gloved hand.

"That's an enchanted marble!" Wow, who was now perched on top of a rock, said.

Ban, who was watching his partner, then moved his blue eyes towards the river's edge. He took a few steps forward and knelt down as well. Upon taking a closer look, he could make out a few more orbs like the one that was in Ginji's hand, their soft light being dispersed by the moving waters.

"There used to be a lot more than this," Gungdo said, his voice sounding wistful as he walked along the river's edge a few feet away from Ban.

Ban turned his attention back to the water. Within the smooth gray stones along the river bank were a few marbles that glowed with varying colors. One in particular caught his eye. He picked it up and was surprised to see that this particular greenish orb was almost the size of a golf ball.

"That's a big one, Ban-chan!" Ginji exclaimed. Closing his fist around the marble that he picked up, the blond stood up and walked towards his partner, fascinated as he gazed at the marble that was in Ban's hand. Just as he knelt down next to his partner, Ginji noticed another large one that was just within his reach. He picked it up with his free hand, and held it up to his face as his brown eyes filled with wonder. "They're beautiful."

Suddenly, an unfamiliar, breathy, and very feminine voice sounded right behind them, making the two retrievers freeze.

"My, my."

Slowly, they turned their heads around.

The first thing they saw was a pair of legs - long and smooth feminine legs - followed by curvy hips, a slender waist, an enormous chest, full sultry lips, and red flowing hair that covered her right eye. And enormous chest. The woman that was right behind them was clad in a very short lime green dress, and looked very much like Jessica Rabbit in a Tinkerbell outfit.

Ban and Ginji's eyes almost popped out of their sockets.

She leaned forward even more to look at the large marbles that were in their hands, and her lips turned up into a smile as she said with that breathy, sultry voice, "What big balls you have."

Both retrievers' jaws dropped to the ground.

* * *

A/N: Phew! Lemme start off by saying that since a pantomime is meant to be watched, finding words to describe one was very tough. It would've been really fun to see this animated instead. Oh, well... I hope you were able to imagine that.

And... finally! It's about time a female human-looking character appears. I think our boys (particularly Ban) would be very happy about this change :)

Sorry again for the late update. I had to actually get to the plot at this point, so I thought long and hard on these details. But hey, this is the fic's longest chapter, so far. So, yey! On this note, let me just say that it would probably take me a long time again for the next chapter. I already have the basic draft for it, which unfortunately consists of just two sentences :D That doesn't sound like a fun chapter at all, I know. But I'm working on it!

Now, on to the geeky stuff...

(1) Ahhh.. more names. I could've settled with just calling them by their colors, but since they play a role in this story, these characters realistically (hah! Funny how I'm using that word in this fic) should have names. I really did rack my brain on this one, since I wanted the names to be easy to remember. I experimented with different ones, but even I was getting confused with some of the things that I came up with. After some trial-and-error, I finally settled on these:

~~(1.1) _Rapier_. This is a long double-edged thrusting sword used in fencing, which is this red creature's weapon.

~~(1.2) _Gungdo_. This is the Korean art of archery. This green creature uses a bow and arrow.

~~(1.3) _Popper_. This word is used to refer to that part of a whip, which is this purple creature's weapon, that makes that popping/cracking sound.

~~(1.4) _Wow_. This word has no relation at all to this yellow creature's weapon, which are the nunchuks. But hey, he's the Bruce Lee of trollietubbies.

~~ Now, if you do get confused, just remember that the first letter of their names correspond to the first letter of their colors (i.e., Rapier the Red, Gungdo the Green, Popper the Purple), except for Wow. Wow is a totally different matter :)

(2) Trollietubbies! Credit goes to Atropos' Knife, who coined this word :)

vedha:

Yes, you are the winner! Congratulations! :D And yes, I know about the longest name. I did consider having a name similar to that, but then I decided that I probably shouldn't be that sadistic :) As for smoking... Well, forget about cancer. Getting attacked by trollietubbies is much scarier hehehe :)

Atropos' Knife:

Aaah, the big red ladies' purse. Fortunately for Purple (or Popper, since he has a name now), the purse didn't make an appearance in the Teletubbies Intro sequence. But... that's definitely fodder for the next nightmare :) Again, thank you for coming up with the name of the Trollietubbies :) It really does fit. Btw, only Rapier the Red is the _red_undant one (another play on words hehe). I'm glad you appreciate his dictums :) Oh, and how's your new retina display? :D


	11. It's Getting Hot In Here

Disclaimer: This chapter's disclaimer is being brought to you by Rapier, the red trollietubby with the chimpunky voice.

"The Get Backers, the Teletubbies, and Jessica Rabbit are not owned by Mayumi-san, but are owned by their respective owners who have the ownership rights to these characters that they own."

Thanks, Rapier! Nobody stresses keywords like you do. Now, on to the chapter...

* * *

**XI. It's Getting Hot In Here**

"It's the Alucinati!" Gungdo, the green trollietubby gasped.

The Jessica Rabbit look-alike - who was standing behind the Get Backers, leaning forward to look over their shoulders at the marbles in their hands - straightened up, her movement slow and deliberate as she put her hands on her curvaceous hips, arching her back slightly as if posing for a magazine shot, and the retrievers couldn't help but stare at her enormous chest.

Mido Ban, who was kneeling down by the edge of the river with his neck twisted back to stare at the voluptuous woman wearing the very revealing Tinkerbell outfit, breathed out, "Wow."

"Yes?" Wow, the yellow trollietubby responded.

Ban turned to the yellow creature with a confused frown, and Wow just looked back at him expectantly.

"Alucinati?" Amano Ginji said, echoing Gungdo's astonished cry. With wonder in his big brown eyes, he then asked the newcomer, "Are you a fairy? One of the guardians of Alucinatidoo..." The blond paused, then tried again. "... Alucinatiwop..." He frowned, then decided to just give up. "... this land?"

The woman's full lips turned up into a sultry smile as she answered, "Yes, I am."

"Well, you can guard my land anytime," Ban, who had now found his voice, said as his blue eyes scoured over her buxom figure.

With her right eye covered by her fiery red hair, her left eye - which Ban noticed was green and was framed with thick long lashes - moved over to the spiky-haired retriever, and with that breathy voice that did nothing to dissuade his ogling, said, "Your presence..." She closed her eyes briefly and inhaled, the movement causing her massive chest to heave. "... has caused a stir."

Ban gaped at the mesmerizing view, wishing that she would inhale deeply again. She didn't. Recovering from his awe, he then gave her his most charming smile. "Well," he said as he slowly stood up and turned around to face her. "I _have_ been known to cause some..." He paused, adjusting his glasses dramatically as he emphasized his next word. "... quivers."

She just looked back at him, then said, "Your powers are more impressive than we thought. We will watch out for those quivers, then."

Ban's flirty smile turned into a frown as he stared at her again. "'We'? Who's 'we'?" He asked with confusion in his eyes.

"The other guardians," she answered. "If that momentary darkness is an indication of your capability, then your powers are remarkable indeed."

"Momentary darkness?" Ban repeated, his confusion growing all the more as he now started to realize that they were not talking about the same thing.

"The cloaking of the sun," the fairy answered him.

Ginji, who had been listening to the exchange, turned to his partner with his brown eyes opened wide. "Ban-chan," he said as he stood up as well and leaned towards Ban, who was staring at the fairy with that same look of realization. Echoing his partner's thoughts, the blond said to him, "It's when you used the Jagan."

A look of curiosity came over the fairy's face at Ginji's utterance. "I have never heard of that spell before," she said. Something seemed to have caught her eye, and her long eyelashes fluttered lightly as she looked down, then back up, locking her emerald eyes onto Ban's. With that low husky voice, she then breathed out, "Your balls are turning blue."

Ban's expression looked like he just had his hand caught in the cookie jar. Deciding to just turn that into a flattering comment on her observational skills, he smiled lopsidedly and said, "You can tell, huh?"

She looked at him for a moment, then held up one hand delicately to point one well-manicured index finger at the retrievers' hands. Ban and Ginji followed her gaze towards the marbles in their hands, whose wispy internal lights had gotten brighter and had now taken on a blue hue.

Ban sweatdropped. "Oh, you meant _these_ balls."

"What does it mean when the balls turn blue?" Ginji asked with wonder as he stared at the glowing marbles. His amazed gaze then moved up to meet his partner's eyes.

Ban muttered to him, "The answer I have in mind is probably not what you're looking for," causing the marvel in Ginji's eyes to be replaced by confusion.

The fairy rested her hand back on her hip as her eyes moved towards the river, tracing its path upstream. It was hard to tell what she was thinking when she turned, boring her green eyes directly into Ban's blue ones. Still in that pinup girl pose, she then said huskily, "Come with me."

Not quite sure what to make of the forward invitation, Ban stared back at her, at the seductive-looking gaze that she was giving him, then smiled. Forget this cloaking-of-the-sun effect of his Jagan, or the changing color of these enchanted marbles. Finally, this dream - or whatever this was - had just taken a _very_ pleasant turn for the better. With that confident smirk, he said to her, "Eager, are we?"

Instead of answering, she moved her gaze over to Ginji, then towards each of the four trollietubbies. "All of you," she said.

_Oh_, Ban thought with slight disappointment. He should've known that this adventure turning out to be his kind of fantasy was just too good to be true.

"This area is too..." She said with that breathy voice. "... exposed."

The way that she had said 'exposed', with her pouty lips fully rounded at that last syllable, triggered certain images in Ban's mind - images that were best left undescribed.

"Come with me," she said again as she turned her body around, giving both retrievers a very good look at her translucent butterfly-like wings that protruded from her back and - to Ban, at least - her curvy rear. Oblivious to their stares, she looked over her shoulder, and with that sensual look in her eyes, said, "I want to show you something."

She walked towards the trees in a slow-motion model-on-the-catwalk manner, her iridescent wings shimmering in the bright rays of the sun, and the Get Backers found themselves frozen once again as they stared at her retreating sashaying form.

"I don't know what she wants to show us," Ban finally muttered to his partner, his eyes glued to her shapely swaying figure. "But I definitely wanna find out."

"Yeah," Ginji muttered back. "I hope she'll tell us why our balls turned blue."

Ban flicked his eyes over to his partner. He opened his mouth and was about to say something inappropriate for a T-rated fic, but decided to shut it upon seeing the innocent expression in those big brown eyes. "Well," he said instead. "Let's find out, shall we?"

Closing his fist around the glowing blue ball, Ban then placed his hands into his pockets as he started walking in the direction that the fairy had gone, and Ginji followed suit. The four trollietubbies, who were awestruck at finally seeing an Alucinati, then snapped into action and scampered quickly behind them.

Rapier hurried to catch up to the fairy, which wasn't too much of a feat since she was walking very, very slowly, her rounded hips moving from side to side with every step of her high-heeled green slippers.

"I want to say that my colleagues and I are greatly honored at having this great honor of meeting an honored member of the Alucinati," the red trollietubby said to her.

Her green eyes moved down towards the little creature that was skittering beside her. She smiled, and with a small nod, said, "The honor is mine, little one. Your noble efforts in searching for the magic dragon are admirable."

Rapier, as well as the other trollietubbies, stopped in their tracks with their mouths wide open.

Gungdo was the first to recover from his surprise. "You know about our quest?" He asked, the awe evident in his chipmunky voice as he ran faster to catch up to the fairy.

The fairy didn't respond, but just smiled at the little green creature while the other trollietubbies hurried to catch up as well.

"So what else do you know?" Ban, who was walking right behind her, asked.

She stopped walking then slowly turned around to face the retrievers, and Ban found his eyes once again travelling down to her ample bosom. "You are not from this world," she said.

Ginji looked back at her in amazement. "How did you know?"

"Your appearance, your demeanor, your aura," she said, her emerald eyes flicking back and forth between the two retrievers. "They're quite distinct from the other creatures who are native to Alucinatiduwopteedu-Ha! Ha!"

"You mean we're not like the other freakazoids around here?" Ban asked with a smirk. "Now that's a relief."

"That spell...", she then said with that low, breathy voice as she stepped closer to the spiky-haired retriever, her enormous chest almost touching his. "This Jagan... I've never seen anything like it."

Ban gave her a lopsided smile. "Well, you ain't seen nothin' yet."

"Ohh?" She said, her husky voice sounding like a low moan as her left eyebrow rose up. "I would like to see more."

"And I would like to show you more." With his smile turning devilish, Ban then said, "But what will you show me in return?"

She met his gaze steadily, then gave him a sensual smile. "Later," she said. "When we're not out here in the open, I can..." She took one step back, and with that alluring look in her emerald eyes, said breathily, "... reveal more." She turned slowly around, then started walking again.

_Damn_, Ban thought as he watched her curvy hips sway. Who would've thought that he would get to see Jessica Rabbit in the flesh? Okay, that wasn't exactly Jessica Rabbit, he conceded. This one was a fairy, but at least, it was a fairy who looked very much like the sexy cartoon character. He bit his lower lip as he let his eyes travel down her long legs. The only thing that was making him keep his hands to himself right now was that he still didn't know exactly what kind of powers this fairy had, and therefore, what kind of retaliation he would get if he misbehaved. A backhand from Hevn, he could easily take, but... For all he knew, this woman could very well turn him into a toad. He frowned as soon as the thought entered his mind. _Damn,_ he cursed again. He must really be losing his mind if he was actually worried about being turned into a toad.

"We're not safe here," she was saying now, breaking Ban out of his lustful reverie.

"Safe?" Ginji repeated. "What do you mean?"

"The darkness that you caused was visible to all," she explained. "They would be looking for you."

Forgetting his libido for a moment, Ban asked with a frown on his face, "Who's 'they'?"

"Our enemies," she answered.

Before she could say more, they apparently had already reached their destination. The fairy stopped in front of a large tree, positioning herself carefully to stand in between the V-shaped space formed by two of the large gnarly roots that were at its base. The Get Backers watched with fascination as the voluptuous woman closed her eyes, took a deep breath, then started to caress the tree trunk, her fingers swirling gently, almost sensually, across the rugged bark. Ban and Ginji's mouths went agape once again as they stared at her captivating movements.

Soon, the fairy stopped her sequence of motions, moved her full red lips closer to the tree trunk, and whispered something into a small circular depression that was on the trunk's rough surface. They heard the sound of soft tinkling chimes, then a section of the trunk that was as tall and as wide as a doorway appeared to flicker.

The fairy put one hand on her hip, looked over her shoulder at the gawking assemblage behind her, then curled her index finger at them, moving it back and forth in a beckoning motion. She then took a step into the tree trunk and promptly disappeared.

The trollietubbies gasped.

"She's gone!" Wow exclaimed.

"I think..." Popper said as he stood up straight, arched his back, put one hand on his hip, looked over his shoulder, then imitated the fairy's hand motion, curling his index finger delicately and moving it back and forth. "... that this means we should follow her."

Ban and Ginji now stared at Popper as the purple creature did a remarkable impression of the fairy's beckoning motion with uncanny accuracy, leaving no doubt in anyone's mind about the excellence of his pantomiming skills.

Rapier rubbed his chin, his brows furrowed as he thought about what to do. Finally, he looked up at his comrades. "We shall follow her, then." He pumped his little fist up, then barked, "To the tree trunk!" The red trollietubby charged, flipping over the large root that was in front of him. He then leaped into the flickering image on the tree.

"To the tree trunk!" The remaining trollietubbies yelled back. With determined looks on their face, they all jumped, somersaulted, and flipped over the tree's gnarly roots, with Wow doing an impressive Bruce Lee-sounding battle cry. They all disappeared into the tree as well.

Now that everybody else was gone, Ban and Ginji looked at each other, both hesitant about leaping into a flickering tree trunk, but more so about finding out what kind of surprise would be awaiting them this time.

"We might as well," Ban then said as he gave his partner a slight shrug of his shoulders. "I _do_ want to see what she's gonna..." The dark-haired retriever smiled lopsidedly. "... y'know... 'reveal'."

The innuendo was quite lost on the blond as he nodded with an big smile on his face. "Let's go, then. I want to know why the balls turned blue."

As Ginji stepped over some roots to move closer to the tree, Ban shook his head at his partner's innocence, then snickered softly to himself. _Oh, Ginji._

Oblivious to his partner's amused smile, the blond put one foot into the flickering tree bark, then let the rest of his body follow. It felt like stepping through an invisible curtain, and right behind it was a room that Ginji wasn't quite sure what to make of.

It was dark, making it hard to tell exactly how big the room was. But what puzzled Ginji was what was at the center of the room, which was a lone fireman's pole that was lit by an unseen spotlight. Standing next to it with one hand on her hip was the Jessica Rabbit look-alike. With her other hand reaching up to wrap around the polished brass pillar for support, she let her curvaceous body lean towards the pole as she waited for them.

The blond still wasn't quite sure what to make of it when he heard his partner's sharp intake of breath right behind him.

"Wow," Ban said under his breath, his blue eyes transfixed at the sight.

"Yes?" Wow, who was standing nearby, responded.

Ban frowned, then muttered, "I gotta stop saying that." Seeing Ginji's puzzled expression, the dark-haired retriever grinned. "I never would've thought that pole dancing was in the agenda, but hey... Who am I to complain?"

Ginji's confusion just grew deeper. "Pole dancing?" He repeated.

"Welcome," the fairy said, interrupting their conversation. Now that she had everyone's attention, her full lips turned up into a sultry smile once again. "This..." She flicked her green eyes to the pole. "... is the entrance to our base. Down below is where the rest of the Resistance are hiding."

"Resistance?" Gungdo asked, frowning.

"Follow me," she said with that breathy voice, "...and I will show you."

She reached for the pole with her other hand, then wrapped her long, limber legs around the shiny shaft, making Ban's eyes almost bulge out at the sight. She was just about to slide down through the hole at the base of the pole when Rapier called out.

"Wait!"

She stopped, letting her body dangle in an enthralling pose. For once, Ban thanked the little red creature mentally for the interruption. Now the only thing missing was the soulful sound of a saxophone playing in the background.

"What's your name?" Rapier asked her.

She smiled again, then said, "Call me Curvionne." (1) She gave them all a sultry wink before letting her body gracefully slide down the fireman's pole.

"Wow," Ban uttered as he watched her disappear through the hole below.

"Yes?" Wow asked.

* * *

Curvionne's high-heeled slippered feet landed softly on the stone floor. As she stepped away from the the pole to go further into the dark chamber, her green eyes scoured the gray-stoned walls, which were decorated with ornate Gothic-style carvings. Her gaze then landed on a lifelike stone sculpture of a grotesque-looking gargoyle, whose fearsome eyes looked back at her as it bared its sharp fangs in a gruesome-looking smile.

The gargoyle's features were that of a sinister-looking bat, with its broad pointed ears, lance-shaped nose, and wide bat-shaped wings that were spread out from behind its back. With its tense well-muscled limbs and eagle-like claws that dug into its stony perch, the chimeric beast appeared as if it was ready to pounce on anyone who dared to get too close.

A soft sigh escaped Curvionne's full lips as she turned her back at the sculpture and started making her way to the other end of the chamber, where a pointed arch served as the entrance to a dimly lit hallway.

"Back so soon?"

A low, guttural voice sounded from behind her, making the fairy stop.

Without turning around, Curvionne asked, "Is that a problem?"

The voice gave a low chuckle. "Of course not."

The fairy motioned towards the carvings on the stone walls. "Your creativity never ceases to amaze me. What are you up to now, Chamelea?"

"Nothing. You always think that I'm up to something." The deep, raspy voice chuckled again. "I'm just curious about our visitors, that's all."

Curvionne slowly turned around, facing the stone gargoyle as she put her hands on her hips in her centerfold-worthy pose, then smiled. "Your curiosity will be satisfied in a moment. They will be here soon."

* * *

A/N: First of all, I would like to apologize for all the double entendres. This is all based on how Disney itself portrayed the original Jessica Rabbit character, who once said with that low, breathy voice, "I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way." So... if any of you got the innuendoes in this chapter, I am soooo very sorry. Just keep in mind that since she's "drawn that way", everything she says and does may seem seductive, but they're really not. Really :)

Second, I would like to apologize again for the late update. I originally planned this fic to be short and easy, but man, was I wrong. All these new characters and places need quite a bit of thought, and quite a bit of time. And, well... this is just to say that the next chapter will probably take a long time again, since I will be pretty busy this month. Excuses, excuses... I know, but it _is_ my birth month, after all! I think that's a good excuse :) And just in case I don't update in time (which is pretty likely), Happy Thanksgiving to our American friends! I will be joining you guys down there in the celebration (Mmmm... Turkey dinner again. Woohoo!) :D

With that said, thank you for following this story, and please let me know what you think. I really do appreciate it :)

(1) Curvionne. If you're wondering how to pronounce it, it rhymes with Dionne. The name originated from the two words "curvy one". I don't think I need to explain why I chose this name :) The other name, Chamelea, will be explained in the next chapter.

vedha:

Haha! That's funny about your friend :) Did he ask you what it meant? I do like the name Gungdo. I thought it was pretty cool when I first came across that word. As to how I come up with these things... Well, I usually play around with various names before choosing the one that sounds right, which does take some time, but I think that it's worth it since a big chunk of the amusement in this fic comes from the weird details. I'm glad you appreciate my efforts :) Say hi to Gungdo for me ;)

Atropos' Knife:

I think my descriptions of Tinkerjess/Jessica Belle/Curvionne may be a little bit too vivid this time hehehe. I hope that wasn't too much. (It's Disney's fault for drawing her that way!) But I _did_ make an effort into toning it down and keeping this fic rated T :D


	12. What's In A Name?

Disclaimer: You know what goes here.

* * *

**XII. What's In A Name?**

"The Invincible Mido Ban-sama!"

Mido Ban snapped out of his trance-like state - which was brought about by Curvionne's mesmerizing descent down the fireman's pole - and with a puzzled expression on his face, turned to look into the eyes of the little red creature that yelled out his name. Well, he did introduce himself as such, he thought as he furrowed his brows, but actually being called 'The Invincible Mido Ban-sama' with that chipmunky voice was... a little disconcerting, to say the least.

Upon seeing the expression on Ban's face, Rapier asked him, "That's you, isn't it?"

"Well, yeah, but..." The spiky-haired retriever's voice trailed off.

"But what?" Rapier prodded.

"That's..." Ban frowned. "... a little too long, if you're gonna call me that each time."

Amano Ginji chuckled. "Yeah, I just call him Ban-chan."

The four trollietubbies looked from Ginji to Ban, then all together repeated what the blond had said as if they were trying to embed the name into their minds. "Ban-chaaaaaaan..."

And just like that, how the little creatures referred to him went from being a little disconcerting to a _lot_ disconcerting.

Ginji stared at the trollietubbies, a bit put off himself at how the affectionate nickname had sounded from somebody - or, in this case, little somebodies - other than himself. And as he looked at the grumpy glare that the dark-haired retriever was giving him right now, the blond had a pretty good idea on how his partner probably felt about that.

"So, Ban-chan," Rapier began.

_Nooooooo... _Ban's face crunched up into a grimace. That little break from Curvionne had almost made him forget just how incredibly irritating these little creatures could be.

The red creature continued, "I think you have some reservations causing hesitant feelings of uneasiness and apprehension about this just as much as we do."

Ban stopped his internal grumbling then looked at Rapier in curiosity. Uneasiness and apprehension? Other than the fact that those words meant pretty much the same thing, what was the little creature trying to say?

"So..." Rapier said. "I think it would be for the benefit of all of us here if you can return our fighting weapons by giving them back."

_Returning something _is_ the same as giving it back_, Ban thought with annoyance, but just decided to ignore the redundancy. "Well," he said instead, narrowing his blue eyes at him. "Explain to me why you think that giving you your weapons back 'would be for the benefit of all of us here'."

"We are doubtfully unsure of the certainty of what is down there below us, since what is down there below us is not certain." The trollietubby said as he motioned to the hole where Curvionne disappeared to. "If there is a surprise ambush..."

Ban frowned as he listened. _An ambush?_

The trollietubby continued. "... Then we will be attacked suddenly and unexpectedly without warning."

Ban, unable to get over the redundancy this time, gave the creature a deadpan look. "Yes," he finally said. "That's exactly what an ambush means." At the blank looks that the trollietubbies were giving him, he explained with exasperation in his voice. "Y'know... It's a surprise... Which means that it happens suddenly. Unexpectedly. Without warning." Ban was tempted to end it with a 'Duh'.

"Precisely," Rapier continued as he held his right index finger up. "If that happens, then we need to be able to assist each other in defending ourselves when we do get attacked suddenly and unexpectedly in a surprise ambush that is without warning."

"We do not wish to harm you, Ban-chan," Gungdo, the green trollietubby added, making Ban flinch again at how he was called. "Our surrendering our weapons to you was a sign of our trust in you. If we are to work together, you will have to trust us, too."

Ban paused, internally struggling with himself to calm himself down. _The redundancy, I can take, but if I have to hear 'Ban-chan' one more time, I'm gonna...-_

"I think they're right, Ban-chan." It was Ginji this time.

Ban groaned to himself once again.

"We should give them their weapons back if we are to help each other," the blond continued. "It should be okay."

Ban found himself taking a long, deep breath once again to keep his irritation under control. Once he felt that he had calmed down, he looked at the hole where Curvionne disappeared to, then frowned again. Maybe Rapier had a point. If the little creatures were suspicious, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to be a little cautious, himself. And as much as he would like to believe that the beautiful fairy was on their side - who wouldn't? - he really couldn't be sure. Besides, the last time he jumped into a hole, he and Ginji ended up... well... _here_. Alucinati-whatever-haha. Where weird creatures like these ones - who were currently giving him pleading puppy-dog eyes - resided.

"Alright," he finally said with a sigh, which prompted some cheers from the trollietubbies.

"Thank you, Ban-chan!" Popper, the purple trollietubby exclaimed.

Ban grimaced again at the nickname. "But before you do, can you _please_ stop calling me that?"

Unfortunately, nobody seemed to hear his request as the little creatures all flocked to Ginji, and Ginji had already reached into his vest pockets and had begun handing them their weapons back with a big grin of his face that made it look like the blond was handing out candy for trick-or-treaters.

"Here's your sword," Ginji said as he gave Rapier his weapon back.

"Thank you, Amano Ginji!" Rapier said.

Ginji smiled at him and said, "Just call me Ginji." He then handed the miniature bow and quiver back to Gungdo. "Here you go!"

Noting the blond's preferred name, Gungdo smiled at him and said, "Thank you, Ginji!"

Hearing the trollietubby use his partner's proper name made Ban chime in - or at least, _try_ to chime in. "Hey, while you're at it, why don't you just call me -"

"Thank you, Ginji!" Popper and Wow said in unison as they received the whip and the nunchuks, promptly interrupting the increasingly irate spiky-haired Get Backer.

"You're welcome!" Ginji replied.

Rapier put his sword back into the sheath at his hip, then said, "Now, I feel more comfortable and at ease about leaping down into this hole. Thank you once again, Ginji and Ban-chan!"

"Oh, for Pete's sake." Ban groaned. "Will you PLEASE stop calling me -"

"I'll go first!" Before Ban could finish his sentence, the red trollietubby had already reached the fireman's pole. He swiftly leapt up to wrap his little arms and legs around the shaft, then proceeded to slide down. "Here I gooo!"

The remaining three trollietubbies did the same, leaping to the pole and sliding down one after the other to follow their leader, but not without their own battle cries.

"We'll wait for you down there, Ginji and Ban-chan!" Wow, who was the last one, said. If one could imagine a miniature Bruce Lee jumping then sliding down a fireman's pole, that was how the yellow trollietubby did it.

"Hee-yah!"

Ginji watched them go with a big smile on his face. This was what he loved about being a Get Backer. Seeing the happiness on people's... errr... creatures' faces whenever he was able to return things that were of value to them, the way their faces lit up as they finally held something that they had lost...

The sharpness of Ban's glare bore through Ginji, interrupting the warm and fuzzy thoughts that were starting to fill his mind. With a confused expression on his face, he looked back at Ban.

"Oh," he finally said as he remembered the cause of his partner's unamusement. "I guess... you don't like them calling you Ban-chan."

"You guess?" With mock cheerfulness in his voice, Ban asked, "What do you think, Ginji?"

"No, you don't like that at all." The blond answered more firmly this time. "I'm sorry, Ban-chan." He then gave him a big smile. "But you don't mind _me_ calling you that. I'm sure you'll get used to it, just like you got used to me."

Ban gave his partner an exasperated look. "That is _not_ the same thing at all." He knew that Ginji was just trying to make him feel better, but right now when his frustration was high, the well-intentioned attempt was just making his temper rise all the more.

"Why not?"

Ban had to try really hard to keep himself from yelling. "What do you mean 'why not'?" The answer to that question should be pretty obvious, he grumbled to himself. He made his way towards the fireman's pole, and as he did so, he wondered how his partner could be such an idiot sometimes. "You..." He said with gritted teeth as he reached for the brass pole. "... are an exception."

He stood frozen for a second as he stared at his distorted reflection on the brass pole. He had never really been one to verbalize his affections, but what just came out of his mouth sounded really close to it. Before he could say anything else that were along those lines, the grouchy look on his face came back as he said, very rapidly, "Now stop asking stupid questions and let's just get this over with." Without saying another word, he quickly wrapped his arms and legs around the pole and let himself slide.

And yes, Ginji may be an idiot sometimes, but he definitely had a sixth sense when it came to certain things. "Ban-chan..." The blond said softly with a smile as he watched his partner disappear down the hole.

* * *

Ginji landed on the stone floor with a thud. It was dark, save for the dim light that was coming from the hallway at the other side of the chamber that he now found himself in. With his gloved hands still wrapped around the fireman's pole, he let his brown eyes take in his surroundings. The gray walls surrounding him were covered in intricate carvings, which gave the room a heavy and ominous atmosphere; the carvings were the least of the blond Get Backer's interests, however.

Ban was standing right in front of him, facing him, and behind the spiky-haired retriever were the four trollietubbies. All five of them seemed to be frozen as they stared at something that was right behind Ginji.

"Ban-chan?" Ginji called out, his brows furrowed. "What's wrong?"

Before his partner could answer, Ginji tensed up as he felt hot air brush against the back of his neck, as if someone had just breathed out from behind him. Slowly, cautiously, he turned his blond head around. He gasped as he quickly turned the rest of his body around and stepped backwards, his brown eyes widening at the sight.

What looked like a grotesque stone sculpture of a gargoyle, whose muscled body was bending down to look more closely into Ginji's eyes, had moved. With a low rumbling roar, it spread its bat-like wings, then leaped down from its stony perch, landing heavily on the cold stone floor. The four trollietubbies all drew their weapons out, aiming them at the terrifying beast. Ban stepped back as well, his fist clenching up into an attack stance.

"Be nice to our guests, Chamelea!" Curvionne, who was at the other end of the dark chamber, called out. She had her back resting against one side of the pointed-arch that led to the hallway, her hands crossed under her massive chest.

"I _am_ being nice," the gargoyle responded with a guttural growl. With a gruesome-looking smile that empahsized its razor-sharp fangs, the creature held up one massive paw, flexing its long eagle-like claws. "I haven't torn them to shreds, have I?"

Ban looked straight into those fearsome eyes, his muscles tense. Beside him, he could feel electrical currents starting to flow around his partner's body.

"Chamelea!" Curvionne gave the beast an admonishing glare. "Stop scaring them!"

Chamelea hissed with fangs bared. "They won't be much help if _this_ scares them."

"Enough, Chamelea!" There was a firm tone in the fairy's voice this time. "We need to start moving. We have no time for this!"

The gargoyle looked from Curvionne, then back at the newcomers. It gave one last low blood-curdling roar, then pointed one sharp claw toward the hallway. Grudgingly, it then said, "You may proceed that way."

With firmness still in her eyes, Curvionne then said, "Thank you, Chamelea."

Ban eyed the monster steadily. "What's that way?"

The gargoyle looked him directly in the eye, then said in that guttural voice, "The base." It prolonged the last consonant, making its answer sound like a hiss.

"Just follow me, and I'll take you there," Curvionne said.

The green-clad fairy turned around, entering the hallway, her hips once again swaying slowly from one side to the other with every step that she took. The four trollietubbies looked at each other, then put their weapons down at Rapier's signal. They then followed Curvionne, skittering on their little feet to catch up with her.

Ginji looked at Ban, whose piercing eyes were still directed at the gargoyle. The beast made no effort to avoid them.

"Ban-chan," he said, putting his hand gently on his partner's shoulder. He could feel the tension on the dark-haired retriever's shoulder permeate through his gloved hand. "I think we should follow Curvionne." He squeezed Ban's shoulder reassuringly. "It's okay."

Ban didn't exactly fancy the thought of having unfriendly fangs and claws right behind him. With a hard expression in his eyes, he asked the the beast, "Why don't you go first?"

The gargoyle chuckled, the low tone making the sound more sinister. The creature was definitely amused at the suspicion in the retriever's voice. "I need to be at the rear," it said in reply.

"Why?" The question from Ban seemed more like a challenge.

The amused look in the gargoyle's eyes disappeared, meeting Ban's glare with its own as a low rumbling, menacing sound emanated from its throat.

A chipmunky voice interrupted. "Ummm..."

It was Popper. The purple trollietubby stood by the dimly lit entryway, his eyes moving from Ban to the gargoyle and back again. "Curvionne said we should hurry."

Ban and Chamelea continued to lock eyes on each other.

Unfazed, Ban repeated his question. "Why do you need to be at the rear?"

The gargoyle looked at Popper, then at Ban. Upon seeing that the spiky-haired newcomer was not going to budge, the monster growled impatiently, then finally answered, "Because I need to seal the door." The distrust in Ban's eyes prompted the creature to add, "I do not attack from behind."

Still not completely convinced, Ban gave the monster a warning look, saying, "You better make sure that you don't." He reluctantly turned around - but with his senses still on full alert - then started making his way towards the hallway.

The gargoyle expressed its dipleasure with the newcomer by giving another low growl.

Not wanting to piss off the monster any more than Ban already had, Ginji gave it a respectful nod before cautiously turning to follow his partner. Upon seeing that the retrievers were on their way, Popper turned as well and scurried to catch up with the rest of his comrades.

Ban stepped into the hallway, which he felt was a little too narrow. Granted, he had been in much, much narrower passageways than this one where he even had to walk sideways (1), but it would definitely be a challenge to fight here if they do get attacked suddenly and unexpectedly without warning in a surprise ambush.

He paused as he caught himself now being redundant. He glowered. _Damn you, Rapier._

The hallway was long, too. Up ahead, he could make out Curvionne's fine hourglass figure and the four miniature trollheads scuttling along behind her.

Ban had just taken another step forward when he felt something move behind him - something that couldn't be picked up by the usual five senses, like a ripple of... He frowned. It felt like magic. He turned around in time to see the gargoyle with its hands wrapped around the fireman's pole. Setting aside the fact that Curvionne definitely looked better on the pole than the gargoyle, Ban noticed that its eyes were closed, and that its head was directed up at the hole where they had slid down from.

Except that there was no hole.

Not anymore, anyway. The hole was now closed up, and with the dim light coming from the hallway, Ban noticed that the the chamber had also changed and now looked very much different. The elaborate carvings that were on the walls were gone, and in their place were just rough rock walls, with roots from the trees above crawling down its sides. Even the floor was no longer made of gray stones, but just consisted of dirt, soil, and rocks.

The Gothic-style chamber that they first slid down to had turned into a rocky cavern.

The gargoyle seemed to sense that it was being watched. It opened its eyes, directly meeting Ban's gaze. Without saying a word, it walked forward into the direction of the the hallway. Once it passed the pointed arch that served as the entrance, the beast stopped. It held one of its hands up, then waved its long-clawed fingers. Before long, the open space behind the gargoyle seemed to glimmer, then immediately turned into a stone wall.

Ban stared at what he perceived as the disappearance of their emergency exit. _Great. Now we're trapped._

"Ban-chaaaan!"

Chipmunky voices called out from the other end of the hallway, making the dark-haired retriever grimace. What was even worse about it was that the sound bounced off the smooth gray stone walls of the hallway, making it echo loudly into his ears.

"Ginjiiii!"

"Come, move forward towards this end of the hallway and make your way over here!"

There was no doubt in Ban's mind that the last one was the redundant Rapier. With the trollietubbies on one end, and a gargoyle on the other, it was hard to determine which end of the hallway was worse.

"Do you wish to remain standing here?" It was the gargoyle's guttural voice this time, the impatience very much evident in its tone. It seemed to hesitate, then remembering what the newcomers had been calling him, continued. "Ban-chan?"

Ban stared at the gargoyle, then sighed as he closed his eyes in frustration. "Not you, too." With a resigned look on his face, he sighed again, saying, "Alright, I'm going, I'm going." He trudged on, grumbling, "Just _stop_ calling me that."

The gargoyle said nothing, but just directed its frightening gaze forward as it followed behind the retrievers.

As they walked, Ginji found himself constantly glancing behind him to check on the gargoyle. Having the creepy-looking beast behind him reminded him of that time he was at Mugenjou alone with Akabane during the IL retrieval, how he continuously had to stop and look over his shoulder to make sure that he was not about to be decapitated by the black-suited formally polite man that he considered to be the scariest transporter ever.

Well, at least this time, he wasn't alone, he reassured himself as he focused his gaze on Ban, who was walking in front of him with his hands in his pockets.

They soon reached the end of the hallway, where Curvionne and the trollietubbies stood waiting for them. Up ahead was another stone wall that kept them all from going any further.

Ginji looked over Ban's shoulder, and upon seeing the dead end, asked with a frown on his face, "Is this the base?"

"No," Curvionne answered with that husky voice. "The base is on the other side of this wall..." With a smooth, flowing motion, she rested her palm on the stone wall, displaying her perfectly manicured nails. "... where the Black Parasol awaits."

The last part of her sentence was met with gasps from the trollietubbies.

Ban watched as the little creatures looked at each other, their faces displaying alarmed expressions. Turning to Curvionne, he asked, "What's the Black Parasol?"

"She's an Alucinati," was her reply.

"One of the most terrifying in Alucinatidoowopteedu-Ha! Ha!" Popper interrupted. He turned to Ban and Ginji, his eyes wide with fear. "They say that she turns bananas brown, and makes dirty diapers fall from the sky."

Ban and Ginji stared at the purple trollietubby, not quite sure what to make of those abilities.

Gungdo added, "I've also heard that her shrieks could be heard in the middle of the night and whoever hears the sound of her voice is petrified and turned into a jujube (2)."

A deep throaty chuckle sounded from the gargoyle behind Ginji, making the blond jump up in surprise. He had almost forgotten that there was a scary beast right behind him.

"She is powerful, yessss." The gargoyle hissed, showing its fangs in a grotesque smile.

"She is not as bad as what her reputation suggests," Curvionne said as she gave the gargoyle an admonishing look. She then smiled at the trollietubbies reassuredly. "And she doesn't shriek. She sings."

"But her voice can still turn us into jujubes, right?" Wow asked.

Curvionne tried to dismiss the little creatures' fears with a graceful wave of her hand. "Yes, but only if she uses a certain spell."

The trollietubbies all looked back at the fairy, still not sure whether that was enough of an assurance.

Ban looked from the trollietubbies back to Curvionne. "So why do we have to meet her?"

The fairy answered, "She is leading the Resistance."

"Resistance," Ban repeated. "That's the second time you've mentioned that. What is this Resistance all about, anyway? And what does it have to do with us?"

Her full lips then turned up into a sultry smile. "You will find your answers behind this wall. Just follow me, and your concerns will be..." She breathed out with that husky voice. "... satisfied."

The way she said the last word made Ban's jaw almost drop down to the floor. He quickly recovered, and with a lopsided smile, said, "I like the sound of that."

She then continued, "But to get to the other side, you will have to utter a certain passphrase."

"A passphrase?" Ginji asked, frowning.

"Yes," she replied. Her expression then turned more serious. "I can say this only once, so listen carefully. Once I say it, I will be transported to the other side." She turned her green eyes directly toward each of the newcomers. "Are you ready?"

Ban, Ginji, and the trollietubbies all nodded, their ears focused on what the fairy was about to say.

Once she was satisfied that she had their undivided attention, Curvionne opened up her pouty lips, then uttered.

"Chim-chiminee chim-chiminee chim-chim-cheree..."

* * *

A/N: Sooooo... I'm back. Finally. The holidays have been pretty busy, so I didn't get the chance to work on this fic for a while. Plus, I needed to work on a lot of details since the story's supposed to be going somewhere at this point. Some of the plot details are still a bit muddled in my mind right now, so it might take a while again for the next one. I'm making excuses already, I know. But thanks once again for sticking around! :)

Oh, yeah... And I mentioned in the previous chapter that I'll explain Chamelea's name here. But, I didn't... Sorry! This chapter turned a little bit different from what I originally had in mind. But I will surely get to that when it's time :) Feel free to make guesses, though!

(1) Do you know what I'm talking about here? I'll give you a nice big bag of jujubes if you do! *grin*

(2) In Canada, "jujubes" refer to gummy candies. I received a request from the Ginji in my life ("I like jujubes. Can you put jujubes in your story?"), so there. For those who don't know, I have a personal Ginji (someone close to me who talks, acts, and thinks like Ginji).

vedha:  
Yes, manga Ban is a pervert. I did tone him down a little bit in this fic :) Hey, it's been two months! I hope your exams went well.

Atropos' Knife:  
Thank you for the greetings! I had a great birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year (Wow, so much has happened since the last time I was here). I'm really happy to hear that I was able to give you a good laugh :) And yes, how Ginji responded to 'adult' things was inspired by your fic SOTP ;)

Kittens Kat:  
Your review gave me the chuckles. Thank you for calling me 'nutz'. I really appreciate it (lol)


	13. If You Can't Beat Them

Disclaimer: Previous disclaimers apply.

* * *

**XIII. If You Can't Beat Them**

As soon as the passphrase was uttered, the image of the sultry fairy flickered as if she had just stepped behind a clear wall of flowing water. She then disappeared, making the trollietubbies all gasp in unison.

"Curvionne's gone!" A chipmunky voice exclaimed, which turned out to be Wow, the yellow trollietubby.

"Well," Gungdo, the green creature, said. "She did say that she would be transported to the other side as soon as she says the passphrase."

"Did anyone here, anybody at all, catch the passphrase that she spoke of when she spoke it?" Rapier, the red one, asked.

"Well, it was confusing," Popper, the purple one, answered. "But I am certain that it was about Jimmy Lee."

"Jimmy Lee?" Gungdo repeated. "Who is Jimmy Lee?"

"I do not know," Popper answered as he shrugged.

"What makes you say that the passphrase is about him?" Gungdo asked.

"Well," Popper answered hesitatingly. "Once I say it, I might disappear to the other side as well."

"That's okay," Rapier said. "Just make sure that you slow down and articulate each syllable unhurriedly when you speak the passphrase that you speak of and enunciate each sound slowly in an unhectic manner in order for us to understand the passphrase that you speak of before you disappear to the other side of the wall after you speak it."

The little red creature amazingly managed to say all that in one breath.

"Alright," Popper said, then inhaled deeply, puffing his little chest as he did so.

The three trollietubbies fixed their big round eyes on Popper, holding their breaths as the purple creature uttered - as instructed - very slowly:

"Jim Jimmy Lee  
Jim Jimmy Lee  
Jim Jim-my Lee"

Gungdo shook his head. "No, that did not sound right at all."

"You're right. I am still here." Popper said with disappointment on his face. "I did not get transported to the other side."

The disheartened look on Popper's face was reflected by his comrades.

"Well," Wow chimed in, his voice sounding a bit more hopeful. "I did not hear 'Jimmy Lee'. I heard something else."

"What did you hear?" Gungdo asked, his eyes getting more hopeful as well.

"Jim Jim Mini."

Gungdo looked back at him doubtfully. "'Jim Jim Mini'?" He repeated, more to himself than to anyone else in an attempt to verify if that was indeed what Curvionne had said. "That still does not sound correct." He paused, then continued, "Maybe the key to saying this passphrase is to understand what it means." His eyes lit up as a thought struck him. "Maybe it's a code for something else. Or it could be somebody's code name."

"Maybe he's another fairy," Rapier said.

"Or a chimp!" Wow blurted.

The three trollietubbies gave Wow a puzzled look.

Wow attempted to explain. "Well, I thought the phrase could also be 'Jim Chim-panzee'."

"So..." Gungdo said as he rubbed his chin. "'Jim' or 'Jimmy' may be a chimpanzee."

"Or a fairy," Rapier added.

"Or a chimpanzee fairy!" Wow said.

"A mini chimpanzee fairy!" Popper chimed in.

"Oh, brother."

That last one did not come from any of the trollietubbies, who all turned their little trollheads toward the source of the exasperated comment - Mido Ban.

The spiky-haired retriever had just finished rolling his eyes and was now just disinterestedly staring at one corner of the gray ceiling with his hands in his pockets when he felt all four sets of little round confused-looking eyes on him.

Rapier asked in disbelief. "Jim is your brother?"

It was now Ban's turn to be confused. "What?"

"You said 'Oh, brother'. Is Jim your brother, Ban-chan?"

Ban stared at him for a moment before sighing. To avoid getting himself involved in another nonsensical discussion, he decided to let the the Ban-chan-calling go for now and just answered exasperatedly, "No, Jim's not my brother. Can we all just focus on the passphrase, please?"

"Yes, we can," Rapier answered. "We can talk about Jimmy who is not your brother at a later time. So do you know the passphrase that was spoken of by Curvionne which she spoke in order to transport herself to the other side of this stone wall that is in front of us and is hindering us from going any further than where we are right now?"

Ban stared at Rapier, simply awestruck. Damn, if there was a contest for the highest word count, Rapier would be the undisputed champion. In contrast, his answer was a short "Yes."

All four trollietubbies looked back at him expectantly.

Ban turned to his partner Amano Ginji, who was listening patiently to the conversation. If his partner was able to get it, then they could both get out of here. Daring to hope, he asked, "Did you get the passphrase, Ginji?"

Unfortunately, Ginji shook his head. "She said it too fast, Ban-chan."

Ban closed his eyes in disappointment. He could care less about the little trollheads, but it wouldn't work to say the passphrase by himself and leave Ginji behind, whose presence was the only thing that was keeping him sane at the moment.

Popper's eyes lit up. "Can you teach us?"

His first instinct screamed, _No!_ Just the thought of having to endure chipmunky voices attempting to recite the first line of Chim Chim Cher-ee for who-knows-how-long was enough to send him over the edge.

But... If he didn't teach them, then he would have to stay here and listen to them figure it out, which - based on how their conversation was going - was very likely to take some time. A loooong time. A reeeally. Looong. Time. Like say, forever. _Forever. Forever..._

Ban frowned as the word 'forever' echoed itself repeatedly in his head.

Well, that wasn't that hard of a decision.

With unmistaken dread in his voice, he answered. "Sure, what the hell," he answered with a sigh as he looked forlornly at the stone wall that was the source of this current misery.

Chamelea, the gargoyle that was standing behind them, broke its silence and chuckled. "This should be interesting," it said with its deep throaty voice.

Ban seriously had to fight the urge to just bang his head against said wall.

* * *

"Chim-chiminee chim-chiminee chim-chim-cheree."

A chimpmunky voice echoed through the hallway.

Wow let out a soft gasp, surprised that he was finally able to utter the passphrase correctly. Before he could say anything else, the image of his slightly shocked face then flickered before disappearing.

Ginji had been the first one to go, followed by Popper, Gungdo, then Rapier. Wow was the one who had taken the longest and most patience-depleting time in learning the damn passphrase.

Ban found himself breathing a long sigh of relief once the yellow trollietubby was gone. The dark-haired retriever was sitting down on the floor with his back against the stone wall, feeling very much drained. Teaching the phrase without actually saying it - lest he disappear to the other side himself - was difficult enough, but teaching it to creatures with irritatingly high-pitched voices made the whole ordeal quite torturous.

He could say without a doubt that he would much rather get stuck back in Disneyland with that neverending Zip-a-dee-doo-dah song.

_ Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay_

Ban stopped, his eyes betraying his horror at the song that he had just inadvertently triggered to play in his head. _Noooo..._

_ My, oh my, what a wonderful day_

_Aaaaack!_ That stupid song must have embedded itself really hard into his mind. He shook his head forcefully, as if doing so would shake the song off.

_ Plenty of sunshine heading my way_

He closed his eyes as he let his head tilt back against the wall.

_ Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay._

He groaned softly, then opened his eyes. And that was when he noticed the gargoyle watching him.

Chamelea was standing to one side of the hallway, unmoving and looking very much like a stone sculpture. To Ban's surprise, however, Chamelea's eyes no longer looked like stone but seemed to have a soft amber hue as they reflected the dim lights in the hallway. But before he could look any further, the gargoyle snorted and straightened itself up hastily.

Its eyes turned back to its stony gray color just as quickly. "We do not have much time to spare," it said in that low growling voice. "I will meet you at the other side, where the Black Parasol awaits." Before Ban could say anything, the gargoyle quickly uttered, "Chim-chiminee chim-chiminee chim-chim-cheree."

And just like the others, Chamelea disappeared, leaving Ban to himself.

Ban stared at the spot where the gargoyle used to be. It was hard to decide which was wierder - the change in the gargoyle's eyes, or that guttural voice saying the first line of Chim Chim Cher-ee.

He shook his head. What was he thinking? _Everything_ was weird. And he was willing to bet that what was on the other side of the stone wall would be even weirder. He let his eyes scan the hallway - the smooth gray surface of the walls and the floor, its ceiling of pointed arches, the darkness at the other end.

He was alone and, by all means, trapped. And the only way to get out was to say the first line of a stupid song.

He sighed. Oh, what he would give for a cigarette stick right now.

He opened his mouth wearily and was just about to say that damn line, and therefore resign himself to another round of absurdities, when it hit him.

He had been resisting the ridiculousness of everything from the beginning. No, not just resisting. He had been fighting it - fighting it hard - using his rationality and logic in an exhausting attempt to reason against the absurdities.

But no, he realized now that that was not the way to fight it. What he had accomplished by what he had been doing was to just drain him empty. This was a different kind of battle, and it was one that he intended to win.

The only way to fight it was to _not_ fight it - to accept the incredible ludicrousness of it all. No, not just to _accept_, but to _embrace_ it in all its absurdity. Yes, from now on, he would enjoy this craziness that was the universe's idea of a joke and would offer no more resistance.

_So... It's time to meet the famous Black Parasol, eh?_ One corner of his mouth turned up into a lopsided smile. _Bring it on._

He opened his mouth, then paused. _What the hell? Might as well sing it._

"Chim-chiminee chim-chiminee chim-chim-cheree..."

* * *

The sight of the long hallway faded as if the light on its walls dimmed down. Ban then found himself in total darkness, and with a sense of anticipation, wondered what weirdness would befall him now.

Before long, he heard the sound of birds chirping. And just as if his eyes were gently opened, light gradually returned until he found himself in the middle of a small wooden gazebo.

Clusters of Eden roses in full bloom climbed up the gazebo's white-painted pillars, their blush pink color giving the structure a romantic old-fashioned charm. The arched opening in front of him led to a pathway that curved through colorful blooms and shrubs, disappearing behind a series of wooden pergolas, which were all covered in creeping vines and more Eden roses.

Ban blinked, letting his blue eyes take in the sight that was before him. He was in a beautiful English-style garden.

He stood up slowly, preparing himself for the absurd, but nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary.

He reached out to touch one of the roses and even sniffed it cautiously, half expecting some kind of weird surprise, but the only surprise that he was getting was that the roses looked, smelled, and felt like normal roses.

_Damn. Just when I was looking forward to the insanity._ He thought with a little bit of dismay.

His thoughts then turned to his partner, who was nowhere to be found. _Where'd you go, Ginji?_

There was also no trace of the others. He looked down at the meandering pathway in front of him, then shrugged. _Oh, well. Might as well see where this leads to._ Which, hopefully, would be to where they all were.

The pathway was made of interlocking stones, and on both sides were a variety of flowering shrubs that defined the pathway's borders. Next to the shrubs were brilliantly-colored lavenders that shot up from their spikes that were as tall as Ban's shoulders.

As he walked under the first pergola, he couldn't help but marvel at the care that had gone into each detail of the garden - the colors of its flowers and shrubs down to the shapes of their leaves - all of which gave the garden a nicely well-coordinated look.

It would've been relaxing, if only he knew where he was. Or at least where Ginji was.

He continued to walk down the pathway, which led to more rose-covered pergolas and eventually to some majestic-looking shade trees.

_Wow, whoever owns this garden must be pretty meticulous_, he thought. _Or an extremely fussy control freak._

Just then, his ears picked up the faint sound of glasses tinkling. He stopped and listened more closely. He heard it again, but this time, it was accompanied by a muffled lilting female voice that sounded vaguely familiar. Another muffled female voice - but lower and huskier - came next, which Ban could only guess was Curvionne.

And then came Ginji's cheery-sounding voice. As soon as he heard it, Ban felt the urge to run towards the familiar sound, but decided to play it cool. He was still in an unknown place. And even though he hadn't seen anything freaky just yet, it wouldn't hurt to remain cautious.

The pathway curved behind tall manicured hedges, hiding the source of the sounds. He approached the hedges slowly, his steps careful and alert. Once he reached the edge of the curve, he stopped, braced himself, then peered cautiously around the hedge.

He stared at the sight before him with a perplexed look in his eyes. He didn't quite know what to make of what he was seeing, but this definitely could be counted as among the peculiar.

A table was set out under the shade of a huge willow tree. Sitting on a bench with their backs towards him were Curvionne and Chamelea, with shimmering butterfly wings and gargoyly bat wings both folded in resting positions. Next to them was a high chair. Its occupant was a little humanoid, also with its back turned, who was wearing a forest green tunic and a red pointed hat.

Across from them, sitting cross-legged on the table - there were no chipmunky-sized chairs, Ban surmised - were the trollietubbies, and right next to them was Ginji. They were sipping tea, and all of them - without exception - were sipping tea with their pinkies up.

"The eye-berries have turned out quite lovely this season, haven't they? Oh, have some more tea, dear!"

It was the lilting female voice that he first heard, and he could see that the source of it was a lady clad in a Victorian-style white summer dress with a bright red belt around her waist. She had her back turned to Ban as she poured some tea over Chamelea's teacup, which looked really tiny in the gargoyle's clawed hand. She turned her head towards the gargoyle, but Ban still couldn't see her face as it was partially obscured by her white hat. "Would you like a spoonful of sugar with that?"

It was then that Ginji spotted his partner. "Ban-chan! You're here! I was getting worried about you!"

The lady in white turned to Ban, making the retriever drop his jaw.

"Oh!" The lady, who looked very much like Mary Poppins, smiled, and with that singsong voice, said, "Please do join us, Ban-chan! You are just in time for my tea party!"

* * *

A/N: I'm baaaack! I am soooo sorry for taking such a long time. Life has been crazy for the past few months and I haven't had much time at the computer for stuff other than work. I'd like to thank you all for sticking around up to this point. As always, feedback is very much appreciated.

Btw, to have a better picture of this new character, just search for images of Mary Poppins in her Jolly Holiday dress :)

Speaking of jolly holidays... Happy 4th of July to our American friends! And happy Canada Day to those of us who call Canada home :)

Atropos' Knife:

Hey, there! Yeah, I didn't focus too much on Curvionne in the previous chapter. Rapier received the brunt of my insanity instead :) But I still have plans for Curvionne, so don't you worry ;) I'm glad you liked the subtle Ban-Ginji scene. I tried to be careful not to overdo it. :) And yes, the Chim-chim-cheree phrase was a foreshadowing of the next new character :)


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